So Busy!

Sorry I haven't been updating. We are super busy getting ready for our move next Sunday. I probably won't update again until after we get settled. Erick will be home on Tuesday to celebrate Christmas with us and help us drive down. We are all really looking forward to seeing him. It has been a long six weeks! I am grateful for all the help that I've had from my family while he's been gone (thanks Mom, Viv, Bruce, Megan and anyone else who has helped me out.) The girls had their last day of school on Friday and that was an emotional day for all of us and then today was our last Sunday with our ward. We are really going to miss our church family. I have loved being in the nursery and I am going to miss all of the little kids that I have worked with for the last 20 months. This move is going to bring some huge changes for our family, but I hope that they are mostly positive, good changes. I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas!!!

Jingle Bells

Update on Cierra

We saw the neurologist last week and decided to start Cierra on a second medication to see if we can get good seizure-control. She is now on Trileptal and Lamictal. The Lamictal can have some serious side effects, so we have to go up very slowly on it. It will take about 12 weeks until she is at a theraputic dose. But, we are already starting to see a small reduction in daily seizures. She was having 4-5 a day and now she is having 3-4 a day. We see the neurologist one more time before we leave and then we will be coming back to Utah every three months to see her, plus doing over-the-phone visits in between. Please keep Cierra in your thoughts and prayers. This has continued to be very hard on her. I am worried about her starting a new school in a few weeks, but I hope that by then, her seizures will be a little better controlled.

Baby's First Christmas

I just had to post this picture of Caden from Christmas 2006. It is one of my very favorite pics of him. Those cheeks, the blue eyes, the smile.....I just love him! They grow up way too fast!

21 days..........

Until the big move! I am scared out of my mind.

Caden's Busy Week

Caden has been a busy boy this week. He hates clothes and loves to run and hide when it's time to get dressed and this is where I found him earlier in the week.

I also found him in Kenzie's closet, my closet, under the blankets on my bed and in the corner of the living room with his blanket over his head. And just to make sure that I know how much he hates wearing clothes, he even tried stripping in Walmart today.


He also hates sleep and naptime and ALWAYS sleeps in our bed, not his. But he found a new comfy spot to rest this week. Nana's linen closet. It is a famous play place here and I have even seen pictures of Erick doing the same thing when he was little.


And he couldn't go the week without getting an owie! Cierra taught Caden how to slide down the stairs this week. They were having a great time together, but Cierra had clothes on and Caden did not. About ten minutes after they were done, Kenzie informed me that Caden's back was bleeding. Poor little guy got carpet burn on his back. But he had no idea until we pointed it out and put neosporin and a bandaid on it. Now I am prompted to kiss it better numerous times a day, which of course I do.


And just for fun, a picture of Caden actually looking at the camera (well almost) and attempting a smile! This is his "cheese" face.

Gratitude

I took Caden to Wheeler Farm today. I thought he would enjoy walking around and seeing the animals, going on a tractor ride, and feeding the ducks. He did like seeing all the animals, but he was terrified of them all at the same time. He was also pettrified of the wind, so I carried him the whole time we were there. We didn't stay long because my arms were getting tired, but while we were there, I overheard an interesting conversation. There were two moms who had packed a picnic lunch for their kids. One little boy, who was about Caden's age, refused to eat anything. The Mom finally let him get up and play after trying relentlessly to get him to eat lunch. She then complained to her friend about her little boy that was such a picky eater. She said things like "Why did I have to get a picky-eater?", "It just doesn't seem fair that everyone else has kids that eat so good and he won't eat anything.", "I would kill to have a kid who would just be normal and eat." I can't remember everything she said, but you get the idea. I do understand her frustration, as I have a picky-eater, but her tone of voice made it sound like she was talking about something horrible, like cancer or AIDS. Her comments stung me a little bit as I watched her little boy run and play with the other kids, without a care in the world, as I held my sweet little Caden, who is afraid of everything, including other kids. I had also just gotten a phone call from the school because Cierra had had a pretty big seizure and they wanted to know what to do. I was very tempted to say something to this Mom, but chose not to. I wanted to to tell her what life was really all about, but I know it wouldn't have made a difference. I used to be the same way about things like that. I used to get easily upset about small and unimportant things (and still do sometimes), but I try not to anymore. My life has taken me on a very unexpected path these past few years. I am left to make decisions about which seizure medication to try next, the one with liver side-effects or the one that 10% of all kids have a severe allergic reaction to. I would love to only have to make decisions about what kind of sandwich my picky two-year-old might eat today. I spend my days doing speech and occupational therapy with Caden and taking him to special needs preschool and evaluations. Cierra and I visit the neurologist and get test after test done. I am very much living in Holland, when all my life, I was certain that I would be in Italy. But, my children have taught me to love unconditionally and to accept and to be grateful for the all the small things in life. I am thrilled when Caden says "Hi" to someone or lets me wash his hair without a complete meltdown. My heart fills with joy everytime I hear him talk. I love watching him learn to play pretend and try to interact with other kids. I go to bed feeling relieved when Cierra has had a seizure-free day. So, while I struggle to understand the reasons behind the challenges I have been given, I have learned so much from them and have so much gratitude for all the wonderful blessings that I do have. Especially, this time of year, I am even more grateful for all of the many things that the Lord has blessed our family with and for the eternal blessings and promises that he has given to us all.

Thanksgiving and tree-trimming

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! We went to my cousin's house today (Tyler and Tara) and had a great time. We enjoyed being with family and eating yummy food. Here is a picture of all the kids that were there.

Back Row-Cierra, Kenzie, Brooklyn
Front Row-Tanner, Caden, Ryker, Samson

The kids playing in the front yard after dinner

After we got home, we decorated the Christmas tree. Caden had so much fun hanging the candy canes and eating them, too.



Cierra wanted to put the angel on top of the tree, so she climbed on my shoulders and got to work.



The finished product!

Mackenzie is Eleven!!!

Kenzie's birthday was actually on Monday the 17th, but I got sick and have been really busy, so I haven't had a chance to blog about it until now. Caden actually went to bed on time tonight, so I have a few minutes to use the computer in peace. I had Kenzie young (I won't go into specifics, but I was younger than your average teen mom)and I have to let everyone know how much I appreciate their kind and loving support throughout my pregnancy. It is something I will never forget. My labor with Kenzie lasted for three days. It started on Friday morning (the 14th, which was my due date)and continued on through the day and night. I went into Labor and Delivery Saturday because I was still contracting and was sent home. I went into Labor and Delivery again on Sunday because I was still contracting and was sent home again. I was still contracting steadily Monday morning, so I made an appointment with my midwife because I didn't want to be sent home again. When I got to my appointment, I was dilated to a 5, so they sent me right over to the hospital. I labored throughout the day with an epidural and delivered my beautiful baby girl at 6:50pm on Monday Novemeber 17th, 1997. She weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 21 inches long. She had blue eyes and honey colored hair. She was just perfect. She loved to be held and cuddled and loved being wrapped up in her blanket. Her delivery was attended by quite the crowd. It included my Mom, my Grandma and Grandpa, my sister Ericka, and my Aunt Lisa. I am so grateful that she is my daughter and that I have been given the wonderful oppurtunity to be her mom. Happy Birthday Kenz! Sorry I only have one baby picture, I couldn't get the rest of them to work.

Two months old


And now.....her 5th grade picture

Cierra is Seven!!!

On November 12, 2001, I woke up with a horrible backache at about 5:00am and thought nothing of it. I figured that I had slept wrong and was just uncomfortable from being very pregnant. I had an appointment at the hospital at 9:30am to have a non-stress test done. Erick went to work because I wasn't due for a few days still and I had no idea that I was in early labor. I dropped Kenzie off with my Grandma and headed to the hospital for my test. After my non-stress test, they decided to keep me in a room for a little while to evaluate me. I called Erick and my Mom to come over to the hospital because I thought that they might be keeping me. Through out the morning, my backache continued to get worse, but I still I had no idea that it was early labor. Soon after my Mom and Erick arrived, my water broke. So it was then decided that I would of course be staying put. After laboring most of the day all natural, I finally begged for an epidural. My midwife wanted to check me before I got it because she thought that I was in transition, but I wouldn't let anyone touch me until I had my epidural. So I got my epidural in place and I let my midwife check me and guess what.......I was complete and ready to push! I had Cierra about 20 minutes later before the epidural even had a chance to fully work. She came into the world at 7:31pm and weighed 7lbs 1oz and was 21 inches long. She came out very alert and studied the whole room. She was born with dark brown hair and very dark brown eyes. She was absolutely perfect. Cierra was a great baby and even slept through the night from day one. I am so grateful that she is my daughter and feel blessed that she is a part of our family.

My mother insisted on taking this picture. It was the night before I had Cierra.

In the hospital

A few days old

About a month old

About 3 months old

Her newest school picture

Marshmallows anyone?

While grocery shopping today, Caden decided that we needed to buy some marshmallows. He loves them. I usually just buy the mini ones, but I let him pick today and he picked the jumbo strawberry flavored ones. He could hardly wait to get home and eat them. So, we get home and I open the bag and give him one and he shoves the whole thing in his mouth and promptly gags on it and spits it out all over the floor. He still has some sensory issues with food and he still chokes and gags a lot, so it didn't surprise me. I instructed him to only take small bites and only take one bite at a time. He took my instructions very literally.......LOL. A few minutes later, I walked back in the room and this is what I found. A neat row of marshmallows, all with one bite taken out of them. He is such a funny boy. I love the way he thinks and problem solves.

Erick's Birthday Party

Erick's birthday isn't actually until next week, but since he was leaving, we had a little party for him on Saturday night. We had ice cream cake, the kids made him cards, and we gave him a framed picture of all of us and a CD that he had been wanting. Here are a few pics.....sorry the first one is a little dark.

Darn Snow

Because of the bad weather here, Erick had to head down to New Mexico much sooner than we had anticipated. He was off work most of last week and we couldn't risk another week like that so, he left yesterday afternoon and arrived in Roswell just a few hours ago. He starts work at Hamilton tomorrow morning. We won't see him again until December 23rd. It's going to be a long 6 weeks. We all miss him very much already and can't wait to see him. Good luck honey!

Ohhhhhhh..........so that's where it went.

Last night as Erick, Caden, and I were laying in bed (yep, he still sleeps in our bed), Caden had an epiphany. Out of the blue he said "Monster take Mommy's weenie!" Erick and I laughed so hard. I am so glad that he's talking now, but I am never sure what is going to come out of his mouth next! I'm curious how long he had been thinking about it.......

Trick-or-Treating!

We prepped Caden for weeks before Halloween, so that he wouldn't be stressed out by the whole idea and when it was time for actual trick-or-treating, he did great! He had so much fun knocking on doors and getting candy. After it got dark, Caden and I came home and Erick took Cierra back out for some more trick-or-treating. Kenzie only went with us for a little while and then she wanted to go with her friends.......I can't believe that she is getting to that age already! Here are some pictures from our fun evening. Erick even convinced me to dress up this year!

Caden as "Thomas the Train"


Cierra the pirate


Kenzie as a victorian queen (she looks waaaaaay too old!)


The whole family

Halloween Festivities and more

It has been another busy week around the Sullivan house. Sometimes it feels like it's never going to end. Sometime over the UEA weekend (I think it was Monday), we went to Gardner Village and did a Witch Scavenger Hunt. We went on a wagon ride and then we went to the petting zoo and Cierra had a pony ride. Caden loved the petting zoo, but was terrifed of the goats that had horns and kept saying "Scary monster goat." It was really funny.

The kids at the petting zoo

Kenzie and Caden petting a goat

Cierra on the pony ride

Caden sitting with some pumpkins

Last Friday we went to a dinner/family gathering to celebrate Hugh B. Brown's 125th birthday (no, he's not still alive.) He was Erick's great-grandpa. It was fun to listen to all the stories and meet new people that we are related to.

Kenzie and Cierra at the dinner

Erick had Saturday and Sunday off and we had high hopes of accomplishing a lot of things around the house, but neither of us felt very good, so not very much got done.

Monday evening Kenzie went to a Halloween party with her friend Kara. It was a haunted house and she said that it was a lot of fun. Yesterday was the Halloween Carnival at Caden's school. It was so much fun. I wasn't sure how Caden would handle all of the noise and all of the people, but he did great. He played lots of games and had so much fun eating dinner and collecting prizes. He especially loved the swimming pool full of dried beans......I couldn't keep him away from it.

Caden playing some games


Eating a donut....yum!

Caden's favorite part of the whole carnival....the bean pool!

Kenzie, Cierra, and Caden......the three loves of my life

Today Caden had preschool and he did really good when I dropped him off, but they said he had several meltdowns during class. I just keep hoping that every week will get better. I also took Cierra to the neurologist again today. Her seizures are still increasing on a daily basis, so we are going up on the dosage again. We can still go up a little bit higher on this particular medication before we need to think about adding a second one to the mix or switching medications all together. I really hope that we can get them under control before we move, but as of right now, it's not looking too hopeful. Cierra also got to go to a halloween party at her friend Lillie's house today. She was so excited because it her first one and she had a blast.

I have also been busy this week getting ready for my first ever garage sale. We are trying to make a little bit of extra money for our move, so Saturday morning we are setting up shop in the driveway. I hope that I will be able to report back later that it was a success. And of course, with Halloween, the rest of the week will be pretty busy. I was just thinking how much I was looking forward to next week and then I looked at my calender. It is just as full with Dr. appointments and therapies, etc.

I also want to add this one last picture that I took last week. I just love it. It is rare to get a picture of Caden looking at the camera, but this was close enough.....he was looking at me instead. I love the look on his face. It just captures everything about my anegelic son in that one moment. His innocence, his beautiful eyes, his sweet little face. He is truly an angel on earth. I love everything about him and I wouldn't take away his autism, even if I could. It is so much a part of him and I think he is perfect :)

Goodbye Ericka!

Ericka and Malcolm left for Canada last Friday. It was a really emotional goodbye, but I know that they are going to have so much fun together and I am so happy for both of them. Congrats again you two!

Ericka and my kiddos

Ericka and me

Ericka and Caden

Update on Cierra

I just wanted to take a minute and update everyone on how Cierra is doing. Overall, she is doing better. But, she is still having daily seizures and I think that we have a long way to go until she is seizure-free. On Tuesday she had no seizures and then yesterday she had 27! It is always unpredictable and we are trying very hard to figure out what triggers them. We are going up weekly on her medication for the time being and are hoping that we will reach a therapeutic level soon. She is now taking 5ml of Trileptal 2x a day. We appreciate all of your concern and prayers and would appreciate it if you could continue to keep her in your prayers. She is really struggling right now with the emotions that come along with having epilepsy and with feeling "different."

The Week of the Wedding

Wow.....what a week it has been! This week was my sister Ericka's wedding. We had family gatherings and such almost every day. Last Saturday night, Ben and Mary (with Abby and Olivia in tow) flew into town for Ericka's wedding. We visited with them at my Mom's house until about 11pm that night. Sunday was conference and we hung out at home and watched that until we went to my Mom's house to have dinner with everyone. Then we headed over to my Grandma's house to celebrate her birthday. Monday we met the whole family at Chick-Fil-A to celebrate Olivia's 2nd birthday.


Then we headed over to the mall to try and find matching bows for the girls' dresses for the wedding. Tuesday morning, Malcolm (Ericka's fiance)arrived from Canada. He was supposed to get here Tuesday evening, but he drove all night to surprise Ericka. By the time he got to my Mom's house, he was exhausted and went to bed. Ericka and I went shopping while he slept and then checked out a kid's salon to see if Caden might cooperate for a haircut there. I took Caden back to the salon later that day and Caden got his first ever, tear-free haircut! If you've never been to Cookie Cutters, I highly recommend it. Caden loved sitting in the firetruck and watching Thomas the Train.


Wednesday morning, Ericka, Mary, Megan and I went and got pedicures done thanks to Malcolm. It was so much fun. After that, we met the whole family at Rafael's for lunch. Wednesday evening, Malcolm's parents arrived from Canada. Thursday, everyone met at the church to set up for the reception. Caden and I stopped by for a little while to see how it was going, but we weren't much help. That afternoon, I went with my Mom to pick up all the pies for the reception. Thursday evening was the wedding dinner at PF Changs. It was a lot of fun and of course great food. Friday morning, the girls and I went and got our hair done for the wedding. After we got home, we rushed to get ready and then headed out to the Timpanogos Temple, without written directions. Needless to say, we got lost and it took us over an hour to get there. But we made it and got to see Ericka and Malcolm exit the temple as husband and wife. Ericka was an absolutely beautiful bride and Malcolm looked so proud to be her husband.

Ericka and Malcolm

Ericka and me

Caden and Malcolm (Caden adores him!)

All the girls

Kenzie, Nancy, and Cierra signing "cold"......it was freezing!

We did all the family pictures and then met Ben and Mary at Zupa's for lunch. The younger kids had so much fun playing after we were done eating.

Cierra, Abby and Olivia under the table at Zupa's

Ben (my older brother) and me at Zupa's

Friday evening was the reception and it was gorgeous! It was set up so nicely and Malcolm and Ericka both looked great, but a little less innocent than earlier that day (I'm not sure why?) All of the kids had a great time eating pie and candy and dancing around. Tanner decided that he wasn't getting enough attention, so he threw up everywhere. We hurried to get it cleaned up and Viv graciously offered to take him home and bathe him, so that Megan could stay at the reception. Sparklers were passed out to everyone, so that the newlyweds could exit to their car through them. Of course I thought nothing of the flashing sparklers until Cierra started having seizures from them. We got her away from them and the seizures stopped, but it was time for us to go home and get her to bed.

Ericka and Caden

Cutting the cake

Cierra and Abby feeding eachother candy

Caden insisted on standing in bewteen Ericka and Malcolm while they were in the receiving line

Saturday afternoon, Abby came over to play with Cierra one more time before she had to head back to Texas. Cierra and Abby had so much fun playing together all week. Caden loved having her here, too. He has been walking around all week saying "Abby, Abby, Abby."

Cierra, Abby, and Caden playing barbies

Another word that Caden learned on Friday was "Honeymoon." I bet that he has said it at least 100 times in the last two days. Saturday morning, Malcolm and Ericka left for their honeymoon in California. They will be back next week and then they will be off to Canada. I am so happy for them, but I am really going to miss Ericka. Hopefully we will all be back in Utah next October for Shaun's homecoming. Ben and Mary left this morning to head back to San Antonio. We will miss them, too, but I hope that with our move to New Mexico, we will be able to see them again soon. So that was our crazy, busy, fun week. Sorry for making it so long, but I wanted to fit it all into one post. Thanks for reading if you got this far :).