WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
7 comments:
What a great poem! Thanks for sharing. That is a great way to describe having a kid with special needs. And what a cute picture of Caden!
I like that poem. I think it applies in many situations. Life never seems to take you where you plan, but there are things to enjoy no matter where life takes you.
Thank you for sharing this poem, I really enjoyed reading it. I am glad that you have found comfort in reading this poem and that it helps you get through the day. I admire you for your dedication in doing all you can for Caden.
What a sweet poem! You are such a great mom with Caden. I can't even imagine the struggle it must be to be positive. It is just hard to have a child struggle in life. It is also wonderful to see the Lord blessings through those struggles.
Sometimes it's hard for me to remember there is beauty in Holland and in Italy. Thanks for sharing that with us.
You are doing very well at recognizing these are children of Heavenly Father, we get to adjust our lives to be able to help them along the way. It is good thing that the way isn't easy, it wouldn't be quite so memorable, we wouldn't have as much growth and neither would they. Your doing a great job, keep up the good work.
We love you,
I adore that poem. It is so comforting and I've always come across it when I least expected it and most needed it. Caden is an amazing little boy.
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