Spiderman's Orientation

Caden and Cierra were playing the other day and Caden told Cierra that he wanted to marry Spiderman. Cierra told him that he couldn't because Spiderman is a boy. That wasn't enough of an answer for Caden, so Cierra kindly explained to Caden what gay means. Caden's response? "I sure hope Spiderman is gay."

Caden's first day of school in Utah

Caden started back at the same preschool that he went to last year before we moved. He only went there for a few weeks, but he loved it. Teacher Janice is a great teacher and he adored her and made so much progress in her class. He got to ride the bus this year and was so excited about. Then after two weeks, he refused to ride the bus anymore because it was too long. I though that he meant the bus ride was too long, but nope, the actual bus was too long and it bugged him. Yeah, that's my boy. So here are a few pics. He didn't want any pictures taken, so this is how they turned out.

Carlsbad!

Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since we arrived at our new home in Carlsbad. Time has been so weird since we got here. It feels like we've been here forever and at the same time, I can't believe it's all ready been a whole month since we left. It was a bittersweet goodbye leaving Utah. I miss everyone there so much! But I'm so happy to be a family again and it is really fun having our own house. We've had a million different apartments, but this is our very first house and we love it. It's small, but it fits the six of us just fine. We are still not all the way unpacked, but we're getting there. I would guess that we're about 90% done. I started hanging pictures a few days ago and it's starting to feel like home now. I'm going to take pictures soon so everyone can see where we're living :)

The girls are going to the charter school here and they love it and I love it. It is a FABULOUS school with amazing teachers. Kenz and Cierra both had a hard time leaving Utah, but they are adjusting and making friends and they are both starting to like it here. Caden is in preschool here and he seems to really like it now that he's gotten used to it. He is making progress everyday, but we still have plenty of struggles. His social skills (or lack of) kill me sometimes. We went to an Ice Cream Social at JMA (the girls' school) the other night and one of the secretaries tried to talk to Caden and he wouldn't look at her or answer her. He just repeated under his breath, but loud enough for her to hear "weird voice, weird voice, weird voice" over and over and over again. Apparently he didn't like her accent. Then he saw a boy walk in a few minutes later and yelled "That boy has a long neck!" Oh Caden. My life would be so dull without you.

Tyler is just the cutest thing ever. He is turning into a naughty little toddler and I love it. He has eight cute little teeth that show when he jabbers and smiles and laughs and he has taken a few steps. He is almost *fingers crossed* weaned. He enjoys throwing EVERYTHING, hitting EVERYONE, biting, playing outside, and taking baths. He loves to drive cars and motorcycles and say "brrrmmmmmmmmmm." I need to get a video of it because I want to remember that car noise forever. He is constantly jabbering and trying to show us things and tell us all sorts of stuff. His favorite thing to say is "ajeesh." I really have no idea what it means, but it's adorable. I took him to Artesia the other day for his 1yr check-up (we tried the pediatrician here and she wouldn't take him as a patient because we do an alternate vaccine schedule.) He is 31.5 inches tall and weighs 24lbs 12oz. His growth has slowed down, but he is still a big boy.

I am doing okay. The move has not been easy on me. I still cry. A lot. But, I feel at peace and I know this is where we're supposed to be right now. I am keeping busy trying to decorate, doing yard work, registering cars, finding new doctors, etc. Moving is a pain! My foot is still not well and that makes it difficult to get a lot accomplished, but I *think* it is very slowly starting to heal. It can take up to a year, so I am trying to be patient. I got mastitis right before we moved and again right after we got here and now I am fighting a really bad cold. My body does not handle stress well (ie: strep throat on my wedding day.)

I wish I had tons of great pictures to post, but our camera broke right before we moved, so all I have is my cell phone for the time being. I'll find a few to put on here because every post should have a picture :)

The boys playing in their new room


Kenzie dressed herself up as a ninja one day. We get bored here.


Cierra showing off her cute hair (styled by Kenzie)


We buzzed Tyler's hair a few days ago. He looks so grown-up now!

Life

I'm not sure why I have no desire to blog anymore. So much of it seems so generic and doesn't always truly reflect what was/is happening. Blogging about all the happy, shining moments is great, but to look back and reflect on life and only see those moments, is a disservice to ourselves. It is through our struggles and challenges (personal and otherwise) that we grow and learn. So even though those things can be hard to write about or even painful, it is through those things that we become who we are. Our trials, big and small, are what mold us into the people that we need to become in this life.

I have been through what feels like a tremendous amount trials, some of them so hard and so painful (and much too personal for a blog), that I wasn't sure I would survive them. The depth of pain I have experienced is not something I can put into words. But from this pain and despair, I have discovered things about myself that I never would have known. I have been lifted spiritually and I've grown and learned and changed. My trials have made me who I am today. I have more patience, more compassion, more forgiveness, more love, more understanding. I am a better person because of these trials. I never would have chosen these trials for myself. But now that I've been through them and survived them, I wouldn't change them. Some things are necessary for our growth, no matter how painful they are.

Today I sit here in my family room in Carlsbad, New Mexico, thinking and reflecting on the events of the last few months and of the events that led me to this place. Life is hard. When I was young, I couldn't have imagined what life had in store for me. You dream about getting married, having babies, living in a dream house, having plenty of money, and so on. Blah, blah, blah. Then you wake up and you're 27 and you have 4 kids, no college degree, a huge amount of debt, a child with epilepsy, a child with Asperger Syndrome, you're overweight, and you're renting a teeny little house in the middle of nowhere, 900 miles away from all of your family and friends. Not what I had planned on. At all. But, this is my life right now and I am learning to love it. I am learning to appreciate all of the small and simple things that happen everyday. I am learning to be grateful for what I have and to enjoy every second of every day. Good and bad.

So yes, life is hard. But life is good. Life is amazing, even with all the hardships along the way. So, I want to try and start blogging more often. I want to have this blog to look back on when I'm older so that I can remember our journey, our adventures, our tears shed, our life. I don't want to forget a single second of it.