Carlsbad!

Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since we arrived at our new home in Carlsbad. Time has been so weird since we got here. It feels like we've been here forever and at the same time, I can't believe it's all ready been a whole month since we left. It was a bittersweet goodbye leaving Utah. I miss everyone there so much! But I'm so happy to be a family again and it is really fun having our own house. We've had a million different apartments, but this is our very first house and we love it. It's small, but it fits the six of us just fine. We are still not all the way unpacked, but we're getting there. I would guess that we're about 90% done. I started hanging pictures a few days ago and it's starting to feel like home now. I'm going to take pictures soon so everyone can see where we're living :)

The girls are going to the charter school here and they love it and I love it. It is a FABULOUS school with amazing teachers. Kenz and Cierra both had a hard time leaving Utah, but they are adjusting and making friends and they are both starting to like it here. Caden is in preschool here and he seems to really like it now that he's gotten used to it. He is making progress everyday, but we still have plenty of struggles. His social skills (or lack of) kill me sometimes. We went to an Ice Cream Social at JMA (the girls' school) the other night and one of the secretaries tried to talk to Caden and he wouldn't look at her or answer her. He just repeated under his breath, but loud enough for her to hear "weird voice, weird voice, weird voice" over and over and over again. Apparently he didn't like her accent. Then he saw a boy walk in a few minutes later and yelled "That boy has a long neck!" Oh Caden. My life would be so dull without you.

Tyler is just the cutest thing ever. He is turning into a naughty little toddler and I love it. He has eight cute little teeth that show when he jabbers and smiles and laughs and he has taken a few steps. He is almost *fingers crossed* weaned. He enjoys throwing EVERYTHING, hitting EVERYONE, biting, playing outside, and taking baths. He loves to drive cars and motorcycles and say "brrrmmmmmmmmmm." I need to get a video of it because I want to remember that car noise forever. He is constantly jabbering and trying to show us things and tell us all sorts of stuff. His favorite thing to say is "ajeesh." I really have no idea what it means, but it's adorable. I took him to Artesia the other day for his 1yr check-up (we tried the pediatrician here and she wouldn't take him as a patient because we do an alternate vaccine schedule.) He is 31.5 inches tall and weighs 24lbs 12oz. His growth has slowed down, but he is still a big boy.

I am doing okay. The move has not been easy on me. I still cry. A lot. But, I feel at peace and I know this is where we're supposed to be right now. I am keeping busy trying to decorate, doing yard work, registering cars, finding new doctors, etc. Moving is a pain! My foot is still not well and that makes it difficult to get a lot accomplished, but I *think* it is very slowly starting to heal. It can take up to a year, so I am trying to be patient. I got mastitis right before we moved and again right after we got here and now I am fighting a really bad cold. My body does not handle stress well (ie: strep throat on my wedding day.)

I wish I had tons of great pictures to post, but our camera broke right before we moved, so all I have is my cell phone for the time being. I'll find a few to put on here because every post should have a picture :)

The boys playing in their new room


Kenzie dressed herself up as a ninja one day. We get bored here.


Cierra showing off her cute hair (styled by Kenzie)


We buzzed Tyler's hair a few days ago. He looks so grown-up now!

Life

I'm not sure why I have no desire to blog anymore. So much of it seems so generic and doesn't always truly reflect what was/is happening. Blogging about all the happy, shining moments is great, but to look back and reflect on life and only see those moments, is a disservice to ourselves. It is through our struggles and challenges (personal and otherwise) that we grow and learn. So even though those things can be hard to write about or even painful, it is through those things that we become who we are. Our trials, big and small, are what mold us into the people that we need to become in this life.

I have been through what feels like a tremendous amount trials, some of them so hard and so painful (and much too personal for a blog), that I wasn't sure I would survive them. The depth of pain I have experienced is not something I can put into words. But from this pain and despair, I have discovered things about myself that I never would have known. I have been lifted spiritually and I've grown and learned and changed. My trials have made me who I am today. I have more patience, more compassion, more forgiveness, more love, more understanding. I am a better person because of these trials. I never would have chosen these trials for myself. But now that I've been through them and survived them, I wouldn't change them. Some things are necessary for our growth, no matter how painful they are.

Today I sit here in my family room in Carlsbad, New Mexico, thinking and reflecting on the events of the last few months and of the events that led me to this place. Life is hard. When I was young, I couldn't have imagined what life had in store for me. You dream about getting married, having babies, living in a dream house, having plenty of money, and so on. Blah, blah, blah. Then you wake up and you're 27 and you have 4 kids, no college degree, a huge amount of debt, a child with epilepsy, a child with Asperger Syndrome, you're overweight, and you're renting a teeny little house in the middle of nowhere, 900 miles away from all of your family and friends. Not what I had planned on. At all. But, this is my life right now and I am learning to love it. I am learning to appreciate all of the small and simple things that happen everyday. I am learning to be grateful for what I have and to enjoy every second of every day. Good and bad.

So yes, life is hard. But life is good. Life is amazing, even with all the hardships along the way. So, I want to try and start blogging more often. I want to have this blog to look back on when I'm older so that I can remember our journey, our adventures, our tears shed, our life. I don't want to forget a single second of it.

First Day of School for the Girls

1st day of 3rd grade

1st day of 7th grade

Moob-a-licious

Tyler has the cutest little baby moobs I have ever seen :)

My Ty Baby and other happenings

Tyler's first year is going by much too fast. In 7 short weeks, he'll be turning one. He is such an amazing little angel and I adore being his mama. He is starting to talk and can say-"hello, cat, phone, and uh-oh." He is also copying everything we do, such as brushing hair and teeth, talking on the phone, etc. He loves to be held and point where he wants you to walk to. He also loves playing peek-a-boo and "gonna get you." He crawls all over the house and is in to everything. He crawls normal with one leg and up on his foot with the other leg. It is the cutest little gimp crawl I have ever seen. He LOVES to be outside, especially when he can find the cat or if Bubba is giving him a stroller ride. He loves to drink out of a sippy without the stopper in it or out of a regular cup, but he will only drink water and is also very selective with the food he puts in his mouth. It is such a battle to get him to eat any solid food at all everyday and usually, I lose. Nana is the only who can get him to eat on a regular basis. At the rate he's going, I'll still be nursing him when he leaves for college! His lack of eating isn't slowing his growth down at all though. At his 9 month check-up he weighed in at 23lbs 2oz and is 30in. We found out in July that he has a milk allergy, but since he and I stopped eating all dairy he is feeling and acting much better and I'm changing waaaaay less diapers everyday. Hopefully he'll outgrow it in the next couple of years. Overall, he is such a happy boy and just loves life. He always has a very "content" look on his face. He adores his siblings and follows them around all day. Caden was gone overnight this week and when he got home, Tyler couldn't contain his excitement. My two boys played and wrestled and giggled for 30 minutes after Caden got back. It was so sweet.

I took Caden and Tyler to get pictures taken a few weeks ago :) They are so dang cute together!

He looks so much like Erick in this pic

Caden wanted to wink for this picture some reason...lol

Do you see those square cheeks? I could just eat them!

I don't think I would be surviving without Kenz. She is such a big help to me. I had foot surgery last week and I'm supposed to be staying off my foot as much as possible, but when your husband is only home once a month or less, it's really hard to take it easy. The house is a wreck and we have all been eating cereal for dinner, except for when my mom and grandma brought us dinner or when Vivienne cooks for us (thanks guys!) The worst part is that I have to have the same surgery again on the other foot in three months. Hopefully by Christmas time, I'll be all recovered and walking without pain for the first time in years.

Erick has not been able to find a job here in Utah, so it looks like we'll most likely be heading back down to The Land of Enchantment sometime in the next few months, so that we can be a family again. This last year has been extremely hard on all of us. If you pray, please pray for us to be able to be together again soon.


The summer is winding down and my three oldest are getting ready to head back to school soon. We have had a very laid-back summer with lots of family BBQ's and lots of lazy days just hanging around the house. Kenz will be starting her first year of middle school (yikes!), Cierra is going into the third grade, and Caden is going back to the same special needs preschool that he went to last year. I think only Caden is excited. He gets to ride the bus this year and is SO thrilled about it. Teacher Janice is going to be his teacher again and I am thrilled about that. She is such a wonderful teacher and Caden made so much progress in her class last year. I can't wait to see what he accomplishes this year. When I told Caden that Teacher Janice was going to be his teacher again he said, "I don't like her glasses. Tell her to get different glasses." He is so funny about stuff like that. Cierra had another EEG done last month and we discovered that her seizures have changed from partial seizures to general seizures. We made some medication adjustments and she seems to be doing much better so far (and her tic is gone!) I really hope that this helps her have a better school year. Kenzie is nervous about starting middle school, but I know that after a couple of weeks, she will be adjusted and love it. I can't believe that I have a child old enough to be in middle school! Where has the time gone?!

Kenzie and Tyler at Lisa's house for the 4th of July

Cierra, Caden, and Tyler up in the canyon


This post is ending up much longer than I had planned it to be, but I have to fit in one more thing. Erick was in a very serious car accident two weeks ago and was very lucky to walk away with only sore muscles. He car is a total loss. I was devastated when it happened, but it has been a blessing in disguise. It has eliminated a $300 a month car payment and that puts us that much closer to being together again. Be careful what you pray for, you never how your prayers are going to get answered...lol!

Caden's 4th Birthday

Caden turned four a couple of weeks ago and I let him invite some friends to his party because friends have all of the sudden become so important to him. We had his party on Saturday, but his actual birthday was Sunday, so that caused some confusion. He thought that he turned four on Saturday and then five on Sunday. I think we have it all straightened out now. He had been asking for Wolverine Claws and Buzz Lightyear Wings for months, so I ordered them off Amazon, but when the claws arrived, he could tell by the shape of the box exactly what they were and we had to open them right away. He's not the kind of kid who deals well with anticipation and suspension :)

His party was pretty noisy and it overwhelmed him a little, but after he got his headphones on, he was much happier. He had a hard time waiting to open presents, so in the middle of dinner, he snuck away and started opening all of his presents by himself in the living room. I only figured it out when I heard "Cool!" "Whoa!" coming from the next room. He loved all of his presents and I think he really had a good time.

Getting ready for the party to start
Party Time! Tyler playing with the party balloons
Presents!


He chose a banana cake and decorated it all by himself :)

Mini-party on Sunday with Uncle Shaun.

A gift that one of my friends sent him in the mail. It came a couple of days after his bday and he said "Haha....she still thinks it my birthday!"

A couple of weeks before his brithday, Caden finally figured out how to pedal a bike. I was so proud that we went out and bought him a new bike and called it an early bday present. He had never had a "real" bike before and it was so fun to take him shopping for it. He LOVES it and is getting really good at riding it all around.

Notice that he is humming the song "Tequila" in the background.

A Catch-up Post

I am sooooo far behind on blogging. Our computer crashed in January and I finally took it in to get it fixed and they couldn't fix it. So, I decided to just save up for a new computer. I finally saved enough and bought my new laptop about a month ago. I love it! I thought when I got it that I would just jump right back into blogging, but I guess I got out of the habit. I don't even know where to start to get caught up on everything.

Kenzie is officially done with elementary school. She is spending the summer sleeping in and hanging out with friends. She also helps me a ton around the house and with the other kids.

Cierra is doing pretty well right now. She just finished up 2nd grade and is thrilled to be out of school for the summer. She is still having lots of small seizures, but she hasn't had a big seizure for a few weeks. We are playing around with meds right now. Once we get her completely tapered off of one of her meds, we are going to go up on another one and hopefully we will see good results.

Caden turned four last week. He had a great party and loves all of his new toys. He made great progress at school this year. I am so proud of all that he has accomplished. He is talking great, but still has a hard time understanding and articulating things the way that the rest of us do. He also still struggles quite a bit with his sensory issues. He misses school so much! He asks me everyday to take him to school. He had a great teacher that did so much for him.

Tyler is now 8 months old. He weighs 23lbs and is 30 inches. He started crawling last week and it so cute to watch. He crawls very slowly and carefully. He is clapping and pointing and can sign "baby", "more", and "all done". He is just the sweetest baby. I love his cute, little personality. He has decided lately that he doesn't need any sleep, so that is frustrating, but hopefully we can get that all worked out soon. He cried for an hour tonight before he finally passed out. I hope tomorrow night is better.

Erick is still working in New Mexico and the kids and I are still living in Utah. We are hoping to be living in the same house again before the summer is over. It has been really hard on all of us. We might even have some answers this week *fingers crossed*

Here a few pics from the last few months :)