figuring it out one day at a time

Tyler at Two

2011-11-01T20:37:00.012-06:00

Our cute Tyler turned two on October 5th. We spent the morning at the beach and then had a little party for him. He loved blowing out his candles and eating cake. I thought I should take a few minutes and write about Tyler at age two. He is quite a handful, but we sure love him!

He is full of energy and loves to run back and forth across the living room.

He loves Woody and horses and cowboy boots and cowboy hats and just cowboy stuff in general.

He also loves dinosaurs and trains. So basically, he is of the male gender.

He is finally starting to talk. He is saying quite a few words and even putting a couple of words together. He is still hard to understand, but is making great progress.

He LOVES to color. On everything. Paper, walls, the floor, himself, other people, etc. You name it, he colors on it.

He is a hitter. And a biter and a puncher and a kicker and so on. You get the gist. He's a little aggressive.

He also likes to throw things.

He prefers to be in the nude. Clothes are just not his thing.

He still loves to cuddle. We cuddle at least an hour everyday. For some reason he loves my arms, so while we cuddle, he rubs my arms.

He is very strong. Like He-man style. It's almost a little scary.

He still has some pretty serious food aversions. He hardly eats, but you can't tell from his size. At his check-up this week, he weighed in at 32.5lbs and is 36.5 inches tall.

On the topic of food, he likes to spit food all over the house. His favorite place is the living room rug. We get all excited that he's eaten something and then we later find 10 little piles of spit out food in random places around the house. I have cleaned up at least 30 of these little piles just today.

He loves to play outside. That boy would live outside if we let him. It doesn't matter if it's freezing cold and he's in just a diaper, he still wants to be out there.

He cries a lot. Usually 3-4 hours a day. We sure wish we could figure out how to help him feel a little better.

He has recently started to apologize to objects. For example, the other day the fridge bonked him in the head as it was closing and instead of crying and hitting the fridge, he patted it and said "Sawy fidge, sawy."

When he gets really angry, he meows as loud as he can, over and over again.

He has been sleeping in a toddler bed for a couple of months now, but he still much prefers our bed.

We think he might be half caveman/half viking.

He still loves his "minnie" (binky) and must have it all the time. It helps him to bite less, so we just let him.

He loves to throw rocks. Loves it. It could occupy him for a whole afternoon.

If you call him anything but Tyler or TyTy, he pats his chest and says "I TyTy."

To sum Tyler up, he is a crazy, rambunctious, determined, and stubborn toddler. But he is also very loving and sweet and we can't imagine life without him.

We love you TyTy!

Here are a few party pictures :)

The Beach (well, sort of)

2011-09-08T20:53:00.010-06:00

They have a cute little beach here in Carlsbad. It's a little section of the river that they have turned into a beach area. It is actually a lot of fun and we love spending time there. We need to go a couple more times before the weather starts to turn cold. Here are pics from our most recent visit.

Kenz and Ty

Kenz and Caden

The little fishy

The boys

Cierra

Super Kenz!

Trying to get the little fish out of the water.

On our most recent visit, I fell down a some stairs and sprained my foot and ended up in a big, clunky boot for a few weeks. It was no fun. I will definitely be watching my step better next time!

Caden's Story, part 1

2011-09-02T09:57:00.006-06:00

I decided that I should write down Caden's story. Not only for myself, but in hopes that it might help others to understand him better and maybe help people who are going through the same thing.

In April of 2005, Erick and I decided that we wanted to add to our family. Erick was working in New Mexico and the girls and I were living in Utah. In preparation for the pregnancy, I quit smoking and went to my doctor and switched anti-depressants, to one that was safe for pregnancy (I started taking Prozac.) We had to wait to try because Erick's parent's were taking all of us on a cruise in Feb 2006 and you couldn't be more than 26 weeks along. We started trying to conceive in September 2005 and after 8 negative pregnancy tests, we were sure that it was not our month. But after crying over a song on the radio one Sunday, I went and bought test number 9 and it was positive! We were having a baby!

My pregnancy was fairly normal. I had morning sickness and cravings and was hormonal and grumpy. We had a gender ultrasound done at 16 weeks while Erick was in town and found out that we were having a boy! I was excited, but nervous because I wasn't sure that I would know how to take care of a boy after having two girls. I got over my nervousness pretty quickly and we started buying everything blue and talking about baby names. I started feeling baby boy kick at about 14 weeks and it never stopped. He was SO active. I know lots of mom's say that, but his movement was literally non-stop. I had no idea that a little person could move so much and for so long and sleep so little. I don't think anyone really believed how much he moved and how little he slept until he was born. When I was about 16 weeks, I turned on the blender and his whole body jumped and I remember thinking, well we know he can hear, not realizing that he was hypersensitive to sound, even in the womb.

At my routine 20 week ultrasound, they saw some concerns with his stomach and so I had to have a couple of follow-up ultrasounds to make sure that everything was okay. They didn't see any fluid in his stomach and I had excess fluid, so they were concerned that his esophagus might not be connected to his stomach, but after several scans, they decided that all was well.

35 weeks

Fast forward to 38 weeks and I developed PUPPS rash (pregnancy induced rash that can cause liver problems.) The rash got worse and worse, so they induced me at 39 weeks and 3 days. June 13, 2006, we arrived at the hospital at 6am to get the show on the road. They got me set up on the pitocin and then later came in to try and put an epidural in. It took them 28 tries to get it in. It was painful and miserable and the next day, my back pain from all the needle pokes was actually worse than my recovery from childbirth. During one of the tries, the medicine was put into a vein in my spine and went into my bloodstream, so I was really out of it for the rest of my labor and delivery. My midwife came in at some point and broke my water. After she broke it, she thought that he had a prolapsed cord, but discovered that he just had his hand up by his head....silly boy.

After hours of labor and a short amount of pushing, Caden Brock Sullivan was born at 5:37 pm and weighed 8lbs 2oz and was 21 inches. He had the cord wrapped tightly around his neck at birth, but seemed okay. He was born with blonde hair with just a hint of red to it and blue eyes. He nursed right away and was a sweet baby. After his birth, we were all taken to the recovery room where Caden would still not stop moving, even after just being birthed. It was almost like he couldn't get comfortable. He wiggled so much that he rolled over when he was less then a day old. It was crazy. I remember my mom coming to visit us at the hospital and commenting that it wasn't even fun to hold him like it is to hold other newborns because he would not stop moving. He just wiggled and squirmed constantly. Little did I know that his constant movement was the first of many signs of Sensory Processing Disorder that I would miss. After two days in the hospital, we went home to start our new life as a family of five.

The Kittens

2011-08-31T19:48:00.015-06:00

We debated for a long time about whether or not to bring Milo and Otis with us to NM and after much thought, we decided against it. Otis is too much of a wanderer and Milo is not very good with kids. So we decided to get a couple of kittens, in hopes that it might be therapeutic for Caden. So when we got back to Carlsbad from our summer trip to Utah, we went to our local animal shelter and picked out the only two girl kittens that they had there.

Meet General Grievous (Caden's kitten)

And the family kitten, Mrs. Norris

Everything was going great and the kittens were fitting in nicely with the family. Then we noticed that Grievous was getting sick about a week after we got her. This was on a Friday. By Sunday, she was worse, so we decided that we'd take her to the vet in the morning. But unfortunately, she passed away in the night and we never made it to the vet. We have no idea what killed her, just some random kitty virus. It was heartbreaking to tell Caden. They were best buddies. She slept in his bed every night. We buried her in the backyard and had a little funeral for her. It was the saddest little funeral that I have ever been too :(

We took our other kitty, Mrs, Norris, into the vet to get her checked out. They put her on antibiotics just as a precaution. She has done great since then. After a couple of weeks, we got the go ahead from the vet to get another kitten. Cierra's teacher from last year had a litter of kittens that she was giving away, so we went and picked out a cute little girl kitty that Caden named Luna Lovegood.

Well, I discovered this week that Luna Lovegood is not a girl kitty at all. She is a boy! We all double checked when we picked her out and we were all positive that it was a girl kitty, but he is most definitely a he. Caden has now changed Luna's name to Cedric (yes, another Harry Potter name.) The kitties are keeping us busy, but they have been a very good addition to our home. Tyler loves to carry them around and I can usually find one or both of them asleep in Cierra or Caden's bed at night.

All in all, it has been a good experience and I'm glad that we got them.

First Day of School 2011

2011-08-29T08:50:00.010-06:00

Kenzie and Cierra started school on the 10th and Caden started on the 16th. Kenz is in 8th grade, Cierra is in 4th, and Caden is in kindergarten. My kids are growing up waaaaay too fast for my liking. Tyler is going to be 2 soon! Even my baby isn't a baby anymore.

Kenz is loving school and being back with her friends and cute boys all day.

Cierra is struggling to adjust. She is in a 4th/5th/6th grade class and a lot of the work is advanced and over her head. We are working on getting her an IEP, so that she can have a little extra time to get her work done. Her seizures can really wipe her out and make it hard to focus.

Caden is adjusting better than I expected him to. His teacher is amazing and very accommodating and supportive of his special needs. And it has been really nice to just have Ty home for 7 hours a day. It is much easier to keep with my schooling this way.

As I'm sure most of you know, Caden LOVES getting his picture taken *insert sarcasm* so I have to show you the whole sequence of pictures I took on his first day of school.

Harry Potter

2011-08-26T12:13:00.007-06:00

When we got back from Utah, Erick took the older three kids to see Harry Potter 7, pt 2. They all loved it. I still haven't seen it yet, so I need to do that soon. It stinks not having a dollar theater here.

Kenzie did not dress up :P

But Cierra and Caden did :)

So of course, TyTy had to dress up as well.

A Musician in the Making

2011-08-16T21:52:00.002-06:00

Our Summer Vacay-The Rest of Our Trip

2011-07-22T20:46:00.046-06:00

Caden face-planted it the second day we were there. Poor guy looked all beat up.
We played outside a lot. It is SO green there!

We ate out quite a bit, especially at Cafe Rio :)

We went horseback riding at Doug and Ilean's house. The kids had so much fun.

Caden loved riding the horse with someone. I made him ride alone the second time and he cried for a half hour.

TyTy LOVES horses. He was nervous at first, but once he got on, he had so much fun!

I had to bribe Kenzie with a shopping trip to Aero to get her on the horse. She is not fond of them.

Kenzie and Miss Tammi

Grandma Tiede consoling Caden after I made him ride the horse alone.

Bubba and Tyler (with Angie and Sully in the background)

My cute Cierra :)

We had a Sullivan Family get together and the kids had lots of fun playing together. KD and her kids and Chuck and Carter were in town at the same time as us, plus Dave and Heather were there.

Carter, Caden, Drew, Isaac

Caden, Carter, Tyler

TyTy's grumpy face

Tyler loves babies and couldn't get enough of baby Colt

Going to town on that ice cream cone

Trying on Bubba's new hat :)

We spent a few days at my Grandparent's house and had so much fun. My Grandma and I are so much alike, so we were very relaxed and had a great time.

Grandpa and Cierra playing in the rain. We hadn't seen rain for so long!

Grandpa, Tyler, Kenz, Cierra, Grandma Carol, and Caden.

My Grandparent's and me :)

We spent lots of time with Grandma Linda, Megan and Tanner. Caden and Tanner are besties (most of the time anyway)

Caden, Tyler, Tanner

We took trax downtown one day and stopped and ate at Pier 49 Pizza for lunch.

My Ty baby and me

Caden enjoying his pizza

Waiting for the train to head to Temple Square

At the Visitors Center. Tyler and Caden both love trains, so they had fun looking around in there.

The Christus. My favorite part of downtown. Caden was completely freaked out going up the ramp to see it. He thought we were really going up to heaven......lol

On the ride home. Tyler's two loves are trains and horses, so he had a great trip.

He fell asleep just before we got back to Sandy. Cutest baby ever.

I spent one morning rescuing 12 baby quail from a window well at the Sullivan's house. They were teeny tiny (like the size of a quarter) and it took me hours to get them all out.

This one hung around for a while after I got him out.

Angi developed pre-eclampsia while we were there, so they delivered Braden early. Boo on pre-eclampsia, but yay that we got to meet him! He is so super cute! We can't wait to see him again in October.

Caden adores babies and was very upset when we had to leave.

Kenzie playing in the rain.

At Cafe Rio again. It is way too loud in there for Caden. If we forget his headphones, we don't get to go in.

Cierra and I saw these cute bunnies in Salt Lake one morning right outside a building where she was having a test done.

Getting prepped for the MEG scan. It took a full hour to get her ready. We still don't have the results yet. I called again today, but they are still not ready.

Cierra getting her ears pierced. She has had them done twice before, so hopefully they work out this time.

My mama and me

My mom with all the kids.

So that is a short summary of the rest of our trip. We had a great time in Utah, but I never want to be away from home for six weeks again. The medical stuff made the trip stressful, but we tried to do lots of fun stuff inbetween. Tyler's hand is looking great. We saw the surgeon and ordered three more gloves. He has to wear them for another six months or so. Once we hit the one year mark from the accident, they will be able to give us a better idea about his need for surgery in the future. Caden saw the neurologist because of his chronic headaches and they diagnosed him with viral encephalitis and said that it would take 6-8 months to go away completely.

This was on the drive home. Caden spotted the letter I out the window, so we had to take a picture of it. Since he has been learning the alphabet, he loves to find letters everywhere we go.

We are so glad to be home and are enjoying a huge rainstorm tonight (the first one here since September.)

Caden's 5th Birthday

2011-07-18T20:20:00.011-06:00

While we were in Utah, Caden turned 5! I can't believe that my first baby boy is 5 years old and starting kindergarten in a few short weeks. The years have seriously flown by. For a long time I felt like we had been cheated and that we missed out on raising the "real" Caden because of his difficulties with speech and autism, but I look back now and realize that we didn't miss a single thing. If anything, Caden's first 5 years have been more amazing than most kids. All of his firsts were incredible. We weren't sure if he would ever talk after he lost his speech, so when he did start talking again, it was the most amazing sound in the world. We are so blessed to have this sweet little, blonde-haired boy in our family. We are so glad that he chose us for his parents :)

We started our day with donuts and chocolate milk for breakfast and then headed to Chuck E Cheese for a few hours
My four amazing spawns :)

Meeting Chuck E Cheese. He is convinced that Chucky was biting his head in this picture.

We had a small family party later that day and Caden had so much fun opening all of his presents.

Love that smile :)

Cake time! We had to do the candles twice because Tanner helped him the first time. That did not sit well with Caden, even though he did the same thing to Tanner two weeks before that.

Happy Birthday Brockers! We love you!

Our Summer Vacay-Cierra's Hospital Stay

2011-06-20T13:56:00.026-06:00

The whole purpose of our trip to Utah was for Cierra to have a 7-day video EEG done at Primary's. We checked into the hospital on the 31st around noon and got her all hooked up and settled in.

It was a LONG seven days. The staff at Primary's are great, but there is only so much they can do to ease the boredome of a 9-year-old stuck in bed for a week. Cierra really struggled for part of her stay, but she mostly held it together and did great. She did not like having 3 IV's placed, having the EEG cap put on and removed, not being able to leave her room, all the EEG testing (pinwheels, flashing lights, etc,)going cold turkey off her meds, plus having mulitple seizures.

This was as far as she could go out of her room.

One of her many bruises from IV sticks
The good IV they finally got in and her hospital buddy with her IV that Cierra got to put in :)

She did like the room service, playing video games, arts and crafts, bingo, visitors, therapy dogs, and meeting new friends.

Princess Cierra <3

Bubba, Cierra, Caden
Cierra and Caden
Kenzie and Cierra
All four kids together. It was not an easy week for any of the kids. Tyler really struggled being away from mom and dad.
Cierra with Daisy
Cierra with Elliott, her fav therapy dog

Kenzie picked out some new socks for Cierra to brighten up her room and her day

Finally, the cap and electrodes are off! Brushing her hair for the first time in a week.
Heading down to her MRI
Back from the MRI with a balloon
Cierra's door, even though she's not really a falls risk
After a bath...yay!
Finally discharged and ready to go home!
On our way home! What a week!

We still don't have tons of answers. They stopped all of her meds while we were there and they were able to catch some seizures, but they are still not 100% sure if they are focal or generalized. They appear to be generalized, but she has a brief electrical burst in her right temporal lobe right before her seizures start, so there is some confusion about whether or not they are starting there and quickly turning general or if they are just generalized from the beginning. We are going to be doing a MEG scan sometime this week and that will hopefully give us some better answers. They sent her home on a new med (Keppra) and I'm not sure how long she'll be able to stay on it. She is having some yucky side effects and not really acting like herself. We'll give it a couple more weeks and see how she does.

They did another MRI while we were there and they still see the same issues, what they believe is an arachnoid cyst in the left side of her brain and some thickening in the area surrounding it, but it basically looks the same as three years ago, so it is unlikely to be the cause of her seizures. If it were growing or changing, they would be more concerned, but as long as it stays the same, it's nothing to worry about.

So that's our update for now. I hope to have some better answers in the next few weeks and I'll post again then.

Our Summer Vacay part 1-The Drive

2011-06-12T14:02:00.029-06:00

The kids got out of school on May 26th and we started our drive up to Utah the next morning. Caden screamed the first hour of the drive and now I can't even remember why. Somebody said something and Caden got mad and yada, yada, yada. The rest of the drive was okay. We made it to Cortez the first day and stayed the night at the Baymont Inn. They had a great indoor swimming pool and we went swimming that night and the next morning.

Lunch Break at Clines Corner

We bought Caden a life jacket and he swam all over the whole pool all by himself. We are so proud of him <3 Our cute Cierra-bear

Love this baby boy :)

Kenzie, the teenager. She is way too cool to go swimming with her family.

The next day we headed out around noon for the rest of our journey. We stopped at Wilson's Arch. The plan was for all of us to hike up to the arch, but Caden fell and got a skinned knee about half-way up, so only Erick and Ty made it to the top.

After that we stopped at Hole N' The Rock.
We toured the rock house and then wandered around the grounds. There are so many fun things there to look at.

Smile Kenz!

We also went to the petting zoo. We all had so much fun. Some of the animals were hilarious.

Kenzie feeding the camel, Kramer

We finished off our stop with some ice cream :)

Caden really, really disliked this little statue man for some reason, so I took a pic so that he could always remember him.

We finished our drive with a terrible rain storm coming into the valley. We finally made it to Sandy at about 8:30pm. It is good to be back with family and friends and the mountains :)

Cinco de Mayo

2011-06-01T20:41:00.007-06:00

Here are some pictures from the Cinco de Mayo celebration at JMA this year. Cierra and her class put on a great show.

We couldn't stick around for the party afterwards because I had two crazy, energetic boys with me that couldn't sit still or handle all the noise.

It was a really windy day.....check out Caden's hair on the way out to the car.

2011-05-18T22:26:00.005-06:00

I got a new camera for Mother's Day and I LOVE it! See for yourself.

Could he be any cuter? I don't think so. This boy melts my heart on a daily basis. I love how much he needs me and relies on me. He has this funny attatchment to my arms and has to hold them multiple times during the day. I am going to be one sad mama when that phase ends. We are BFF's.

Easter in San Antonio 2011

2011-05-17T20:52:00.023-06:00

Since Ben moved away to go to med school, we haven't seen each other very often. Except for big family gatherings like farewells, weddings, etc. And those events are always really hectic, so you don't really get to spend much time with anyone.

One benefit of living in Carlsbad, is that we're only a 7-hour drive from Ben and Mary's house in San Antonio. So we've been to visit a couple of times. We went for Thanksgiving and again for Easter. The drive is really easy and the kids have so much fun together. They all play together really well. Caden and Livi are inseparable.

We almost didn't go because Tyler was sick, but he stopped throwing up, his strep test was negative, and the doctor cleared him for travel, so we headed out Thursday morning. The drive there was uneventful and went by pretty fast.

Friday, Mary and I did some shopping at Old Navy. She had a killer 50% coupon, so we got lots of good deals. Then that afternoon, Mary took Cierra and Abby swimming, and Ben made fajitas for dinner.....yum! Saturday we went to the Farmer's Market, ate at a yummy BBQ place for lunch (with crazy giant, flying bugs that smelled like play-doh) and the kids went swimming again.

Sunday was Easter and Caden woke up at 3am ready to see his basket. We held him off until 4:30am and at that point we were so exhausted that we let him have it.

He ate some candy and watched the movie he got (Tangled) and was asleep when everyone else got up to see what the giant bunny had brought.

The rest of the kids got up around 7ish (I think) and they all ate lots of candy before breakfast.

I kept Tyler home from church because his eyes were really goopy and gross and he still didn't feel well. Everyone else went to Sacrament meeting. I really wanted to put Tyler in his Easter outfit, but it had to wait a week. We had a fabulous Easter dinner and the kids just played all day and watched movies and ate more candy. Tyler got into everyone's candy. He really likes chocolate.

Monday morning, we packed up and headed home. The cousins were all sad to say goodbye. Cierra missed saying goodbye to Abby because she had school and Cierra was sad about it all morning. They really all played so good together.

The drive home was uneventful for the first 110 miles. Then Cierra projectile vomitted all over the backseat, including all over Caden's pillow. This didn't sit well with Caden, so along with Cierra sobbing and apologizing over and over again, Caden was SCREAMING at the top his lungs about his pillow, which in turn caused Tyler to cry. Luckily, there was a truck stop about 10 miles down the road and we were able to stop and get the van and Cierra all cleaned up. I hope that my first experience with truck stop showers is also my last.

Overall, it was a great trip. Thanks so much for having us and we are excited for you guys to come and visit Carlsbad soon!

PS-Caden got a new pillow out of the whole ordeal, so all is well.

Tyler

2011-05-11T21:01:00.000-06:00

Tyler had his ECEP evaluation yesterday. To say that it was emotionally draining, would be an understatement. We had been anxious about the appointment since we found out about it a month ago. I spent the last few days filling out paperwork and jotting down notes about things and questions to ask them. Tyler is very social so I was positive that they weren't going to diagnose him with autism. Until a few days before the eval. Then the panic started to set in. What if they do? What if I have TWO children on the spectrum? How will I handle it? How will I handle hearing it? So then I decided I would tell myself that they were for sure going to diagnose him with autism, so that there were no surprises.

The ECEP team was beyond great. They adored Tyler and he had so much fun with them. We were there for over three hours doing different evaluations and answering a million questions. Tyler was evaluated by a developmental pediatrician, a psychologist, a speech pathologist, a physical therapist, and an occupational therapist. After we were done with all of that, we went home for an hour so they could discuss everything and talk with his therapists here that he works with on a weekly basis. Erick and I went back without Tyler to find out what they had decided.

First things first, he does not fit the criteria for an autism diagnosis at this time. He is autistic-like, but also makes good eye contact and loves to play and interact, so they are confused. Not having autism is a good thing, but it also complicates things. Tyler is regressing and losing skills. That is a typical autistic trait. So to be regressing and NOT have an autism diagnosis is even more concerning because they have no idea what is causing him to regress. If he loses any more skills or has anymore regression then they will refer him to a neurologist for an MRI and EEG.

From a medical stand-point, they want him to see an ENT and make sure that his tubes are still in place. They can see them, but aren't sure if they're still in the ear drum. They also want the ENT to perform a hearing test, just to make sure that's not an issue. They are also looking more into the medication that I had to take during my pregnancy for my thyroid to see if it is known to cause any problems. They also want to get his thyroid checked because the medicine I took (PTU) can cause the fetus' thyroid to not fully develop. He is also being referred to a geneticist. We were expecting that, but it was still hard to hear. He has wide-set eyes, epicanthal folds, and they don't think he looks like either of us. Plus his behavior and lack of speech could be a sign of a genetic defect or syndrome. They also want to send him there because of our family history (all the diabetes, autism, seizures, etc.)

As far as everything else goes, he has a severe language delay. He is at the level of a 7-month old. Not only does he not talk (we do get an occasional word,) but he doesn't make enough sounds or do enough (or any) babbling. He also has Sensory Processing Disorder, hence all the biting, spinning, tip toe walking, hand flapping, head banging, and all the other stims he does. And all of the eating issues.

They gave as an overwhelming amount of information and I honestly can't remember all of it. His therapists will have all of the recommendations and we will also get a formal report in about a month, so we can review everything then. I thought that I would handle everything well as long as they didn't diagnose him with autism, but the whole experience was really hard on me. They asked SO many questions and many of them are not things I normally think about. Like when they asked me "What does he call you?" I thought, what do you mean what does he call me? He doesn't call me anything. Not ma, or mama, or mommy, or even some other name he made up. He's never called me anything. The reality of that hit me hard. I long to be his "mama." They also wanted to know if he ever "social smiled." He doesn't. And never has. (FYI-a social smile is a smile in response to JUST a smile. Not in resposne to play or funny things or cute baby talk.) This is human instinct and my son doesn't do it. He also doesn't wave bye-bye (never has,) clap his hands (used to,) point to body parts (used to,) imitate sounds or words, make animal noises, and so on. He has a lot of really great strengths, but having all of his weaknesses painted out for us in black and white was difficult.

So our next step is to get our appointment with the geneticist set up. It will probably be a three month wait, which is fine because were are going to be very busy for most of June with Cierra's medical stuff and Tyler's hand and a million other things we need to do while we're in Utah.

We sure love our Tyler and wouldn't trade him for the world. We are hoping and praying that he will start to make some progress soon and not have anymore regressions.

Our Mornings at the River

2011-04-26T21:30:00.021-06:00

I take Tyler to the river usually once a week after I drop Caden off at school. It is so quiet there in the mornings and the playgrounds are deserted, so we have them all to ourselves. Tyler loves to take his sweet time crossing the bridge, stopping every minute or two to watch a duck swimming by or inspect a spider web or squat down to get a better look at some little fish jumping out of the water. He loves to throw sticks in the water and watch them float away. He also loves the freedom and wide open play space at the river. He LOVES to swing and just loves being at the river in general. Not that I can blame him. There is something so healing and soothing about water. It is such a great way to start our day. Here are some pictures of one of our recent visits :)

A Week of Mourning

2011-04-09T19:07:00.008-06:00

This week has been one of heartache and grief.

Our friends the Arnold's (from our ward in Utah) had a baby pass away, a family member miscarried their baby, Friday night one of Cierra's friends from school passed away from a bike accident, and my friend Kayte lost her step-dad Saturday morning.

We have been grieving the loss of these beings and we are feeling sorrow for the pain that their families are going through.

Cierra is struggling with the loss of her friend. School is going to be hard for her and her classmates tomorrow. I wish I could be there with her, but it is something that she has to face without me.

My heart is heavy tonight and I am filled with grief for Connor's mom. He died a horrific death and I hope that they will be able to find peace in the coming months and years.

As I watched my boys running outside this evening, I was hit with a wave of profound gratitude that my children are here with me. They can still run and play and feel the wind on their face. They can throw tantrums and wipe grape jelly on my white skirt. We can watch movies together and they can help me cook dinner. I can be worried when they stop talking or have constant headaches or have a bad seizure day or grow up too fast. They will play in the sprinklers this summer and eat too many popsicles. They will stay up too late watching movies. They will slack on their chores and be online too long. I will hug them a little tighter and hold them a little longer. I will think twice before I yell. I will say yes when Caden begs me to play with him. I will take Tyler outside more. I want to make every day, every moment count. They are my world and I can't imagine what these mother's are going through right now. Death is such a huge part of life and we have been blessed to still have our children with us.

If you pray, please pray for these families who have had losses this week <3

Purple Day 2011

2011-03-17T09:16:00.004-06:00

Every March 26th is Purple Day. It is a day to promote Epilepsy awareness. It is worldwide and there are lots of walks and parades that go on. Unfortunately, there aren't any events close to us this year. So this year, we are asking all of you (all of our friends and family, extended or otherwise or anyone else who would be so inclined) to please wear purple on March 26th and take a picture of yourself and your families and send them to us via email (ksully4@live.com) or snail mail (email me for our address,) so that we can make a little scrapbook for Cierra so that she can feel like she was part of the festivities and to help her know that she isn't alone in her battle. If you would like to include a little note or some kind of encouragement, we would love to include it in the scrapbook with your picture.

Epilepsy has robbed Cierra of a normal childhood. She is on a high dose of a strong medication that has serious side effects and she still continues to have daily seizures. She is possibly facing major surgery this summer that could cause her to lose her speech and other motor skills that she will have to relearn.

Please show Cierra your love and support by doing this one small, simple thing this year. Please feel free to pass this along to anyone you know who would be willing to help with this project-friends, neighbors, church members, etc. We would like to get as much support as possible with this. This will also help to spread Epilepsy awareness. Thank you all so much. I know that this will mean so much to Cierra.

Click the link below for more info about Purple Day.
http://www.purpleday.org/

Another meeting with Caden's teachers

2011-03-11T21:12:00.009-07:00

I met with Caden's teacher, the autism teacher, and the director of the school this afternoon. We were meeting to talk about Caden's transition to kindergarten. They had previously told me that Caden would be getting an aide for 1/2 day, every day next year. Not so much anymore. His academics are too high for him to qualify. They can put him in an inclusion class that has a special needs aide in the classroom, but she will be working with all the kids, not just Caden.

They also told me that they don't think he will qualify for speech therapy anymore. These were my fears when we had PT conferences, but I thought they were resolved. Again, not so much. The speech therapist was supposed to be at the meeting, too, but was sick or something. So the ST is still on the fence. He does still need ST and I have a feeling that it is going to be a battle to get it for him. He is NOT meeting the goals on his IEP in the speech area, so I'm not sure how they can decide that he doesn't need it anymore. I guess I will have to take his IEP in and fight them about it. I feel like they don't have a whole lot of experience with high functioning autism. They are great with severely autistic kids, but I'm not sure they really understand Asperger Syndrome.

Again, let me stress that I am thrilled that Caden is doing so well. He knows most of the alphabet, he can almost count to twenty, and he knows shapes and colors. He does really well with concrete information. But abstract information goes completely over his head. It's not even on his radar. For example: I had a rough day the other day about all the things that are going on with Tyler and I was sitting on the couch talking to Erick and crying about all of it. Caden was on the floor playing. After a few minutes, he climbed in my lap and I thought he was being so sweet, but he pulled my eyelids open and informed me that he was hungry. He didn't have a clue that I was crying. And if he did notice, it didn't occur to him that I might be upset. Emotions are abstract and confusing and Caden doesn't really understand them at all. We are working on it though and many other issues, but I need the help and cooperation of the school to make sure that Caden reaches his fullest potential. Next year he will be at school 7 hours a day, 5 days week and they need to be aware and understanding of the areas that he needs help with.

So next week I will be evaluating kindergarten classes at ECEC and at JMA and hopefully be able to make a prayerful decision about where to send Caden next year. Wish me luck.

In the mean time, enjoy some pictures of my cute boys :)

Maria Tortilla and the 7 Mexican Midget Wrestlers

2011-03-01T19:28:00.006-07:00

Kenz had an assignment at school to rewrite a fairy tale. This is what she came up with. I love it and had to to share :)

Maria Tortilla and the 7 Mexican Midget Wrestlers

By Kenzie Sullivan

Once upon a time, a lonely girl named Maria Tortilla was wandering aimlessly through the woods. After some time of wandering, Maria found a cottage. Coming from the cottage was salsa music and the smell of fresh corn tortillas. Maria rushed over to the cottage. She was hungry and fatigued from her walk. Maria knocked on the tiny front door.

“Pedro! Open the door!” Maria heard footsteps before the door swung open.
“Oi! It’s a woman!” Pedro yelled. 6 other men, all short and buff, appeared behind Pedro.
“Senorita!” The midgets cried. Maria noticed the men were all dressed in shiny spandex speedo’s and wrestling masks.

“I,” Pedro said, “am Pedro. That’s Xavier, Miguel, Jose, Jorge and Rafael. Oh. And that’s Lenny.” He said gesturing to a dwarf with thick glasses and flab instead of ab. “I’m Lenny!” The fat dwarf squeaked.
“Oh.” Said Maria.
“Please come in senorita.” said Xavier.
“Oh…well…. I suppose.” Maria said. She was intimidated by their speedo’s.
“We were just about to sit down to dinner. Please come and join us.” Jose said.
Maria and the 7 Mexican midget wrestlers dined together and played games after dinner.”

“So tell us Maria,” Miguel said, “why you have come here.”
“Well…” Maria said,” My step-mother wants me dead. So I ran to try to preserve my life.”
The midgets gasped.

“Never fear! Your step-mother will never hurt you! We will protect you! We are the 7 Mexican Midget Wrestlers!” the midgets cried with determination in their faces. Maria Tortilla smiled warmly at her new friends. “Thank you ever so much.” Maria said.

Just then, the cottage door flew open. A scary looking old woman came in wearing a wicked grin. “Stepmother!” Maria cried. “leave me alone!” But the old lady just laughed and lunged at Maria. The midgets stood there helplessly, staring at the fight unfurling in front of them. Maria’s stepmother held a jalapeño up. “This is poison!” The old woman cackled before shoving it down Maria’s throat. Maria gasped then collapsed as her stepmother ran out the door.

The Mexican wrestlers started screaming as the impact of the recent event hit them.
“That evil lady!”
“Poor Maria! We said we would protect her! We have failed!”
“Wahhhh!”
In all the chaos, Lenny had gotten an idea.
“Brothers, what about a kiss? Do you think that will wake her?” said Lenny.
“Yes! Of course! Try it Lenny!” Pedro said
Lenny kissed Maria and she woke up. “Oh thank you!” Maria cried. “That evil woman tried to kill me! And you saved me Lenny!”

Maria lived with the 7 Mexican midget wrestlers for years after the incident. The 7 midget wrestlers became professional wrestlers and turned out to be very wealthy. Maria never saw her stepmother again and they all lived happily ever after.

The End

Another Week Gone

2011-02-27T21:30:00.009-07:00

Life is speeding by right now. I get so frustrated with my kids sometimes and then I sit back and realize that this precious time I have with them, will be gone all too soon. Caden won't want to snuggle in bed with me anymore and Tyler won't hang on my legs while I'm cooking and Cierra won't need me to tuck her in anymore and Kenz won't be excited to see me when I'm at the school for different things. Kenz won't even need me to drive her places for very much longer. She will have her permit in just two, short years!

Last night I was looking forward to a trip to Walmart by myself. I was getting ready to pull out of the driveway when Kenz came out and asked if she could come. And of course I said yes and she ran in to get her shoes. Cierra followed her out and begged to go, too. In she came. Then little Caden, with those big blue eyes, was at my window pleading to come with us. How could I resist? Erick was standing in the doorway holding Tyler this whole time. We shrugged at each other and he brought Tyler out and they joined us. So, my alone time didn't happen, but there is going to come a point in my life that I won't have little people begging to come with me. I am so grateful for the four, beautiful children that I have. So many people don't have children at all or are missing little ones that have passed on. And while we have had many, many trials, I am so blessed that I have these four amazing kids here with me, who love me unconditionally and are always willing to forgive my shortcomings.

Kenz and Cierra are having the Color Expo at school this week and are both looking forward to it. On Wednesday they get to Tye dye t-shirts and on Friday they get to wear them to school. They are both really excited about this because they normally have to wear uniforms. So, anytime they can get a break from the polo's, it's a good thing.

They are both doing great academically. Kenz wrote a story for one of her classes recently and was worried that the teacher had lost it because she had a zero for it on her progress report. But she found out on Friday that the teacher loved it so much that she had taken it to make copies of it because she wanted to save it for her future classes to read. It is a pretty funny story....I'll have to post it on here sometime. Kenz is a natural at writing.

Cierra is learning Spanish this year and is excelling. She is at the top of her class for reading and Spanish. She is growing up way too fast and has been begging us to shave her legs recently. Is she really that old all ready?! She is still having seizures, despite frequent med increases. I'm really starting to think that they should have investigated the cyst in her brain better when they found it 2.5 years ago instead of dismissing it as an incidental finding on the MRI. It might have saved her (as well as us) a lot of pain and suffering. Time will tell and we'll see what the week long EEG turns up in June.

Caden is doing really good. He is finally staying in Primary and class every week and as I posted last time, doing great in school. He is addicted to the Wii and anything Batman related. He is very literal and makes us laugh all the time. He is getting really good at imaginative play, but insists on having someone play with him all the time. It's too bad that I can't convince Megan and Tanner to move down here :)

I can rarely get Caden to look at the camera, so this is what you get

Tyler is doing good as well. When we went to Walmart last night, he got really excited about all the balloons and it sounded like he tried to say balloon. It was adorable. It sounded something like "ladlad....loooooo!" I really hope that he will start bringing his speech back soon. I am dying to hear him talk again. We bought him some Stride rites last week and he is all ready walking more steady and not in-toeing quite as much, so we are hopeful that his foot issue will correct itself.

I think I am finally ready to talk about all the other issues that we have been dealing with. I needed some time to digest them and be at peace with them before I could write about all of it. So here it goes. When Tyler was born, the hospital pediatrician told us that he had epicanthal folds on his eyes. They can be associated with some types of syndromes, but since he didn't have any other markers, they told us that it was nothing to worry about. Well EI is concerned that the folds might be an indicator that something else going on. They have referred him for an evaluation with the NM School for the Blind and Visually Impaired. They will be coming to our house at the end of March to check him out. The evaluator will be checking his vision (they are concerned that he's not seeing very well,) but she is also very knoweldgable about syndromes and should be able to shed some light on that situation. EI has also put in a referral for Tyler to have an eval with the ECEP team that comes down from Albuquerque once every few months. It is a team of doctors and therapists that can diagnose kids with a range of problems, autism included. Tyler is very social and I know if they evaluated him right now that they would NOT diagnose him with autism. He has some concerning behavior (near constant hand flapping and lots of tip-toe walking, lots of meltdowns, lots of spinning, biting, eating issues, language regression, ect) but he is SO social. We were hesitant to agree to the referral at first, but he won't be seen until late summer or fall because the waiting list is so long, so we figured that it can't hurt anything to put him on the list and see how he's doing when the time comes. If he is doing great, then we just pull his name off the list. The ECEP team includes a developmental pediatrician who is an expert in diagnosing syndromes, so they also encouraged us to allow the referral, so that she can see him and give us her opinion about his eyes and find out if further testing is needed. Tyler's eyes are unusual, but I love them. They are my very favorite feature about him.

Hanging in the Wiener-mobile

Tyler's hand is doing great. He can put all of his fingers to neutral with ease, but can't hyper extend a couple of them. The scar tissue is pretty thick in a few spots and his hand is still pretty sensitive. He fell the other day with his glove off and caught himself on the tile with bare hands and it stunned him for a second because it hurt his little hand to have such hard contact. I doubt that he will need surgery during our next visit to Utah, but I'm wrong a lot, so I guess we'll see what the surgeon decides. I'm hoping and praying that it will just continue to heal and never need any surgery.

Can you believe how amazing his hand looks?!

Caden's P/T Conferences

2011-02-18T21:24:00.006-07:00

This has been such a crazy, emotional week! I completely spaced all of my homework that was due Tuesday night. I had it done, but never once even thought about going on the computer and submitting it. So, I have a few zeros now. No worries though, I'll still pass.

The kids had P/T Conferences this week, so they get a four day weekend. I went to Kenzie's yesterday, Cierra didn't need one because she is doing really good, and then I went to Caden's today. I have been worried about Caden's because his teacher and I don't always agree on Caden's progress and how he's doing. I know that he is doing great at school and making great progress, but he still has some serious learning disabilities that he will probably battle for the rest of his life. For example, Caden has every movie we own memorized. Not just I-watched-it-so-many-times-that-I-know-some-of-the-lines-from-it kind of memorization. He knows EVERY SINGLE LINE. He knows what voice that they say it in, he knows the expression that they have on their face when they say it, etc. But if you ask Caden what happens in the movie, he can't tell you. He can repeat all of the lines, but he cannot tell you the the basics of the movie. He knows, but for some reason Caden struggles with taking information in, processing it, and then explaining it in his own words. He also will use movie lines in place of his own thoughts or answers during a conversation. So you might think he's answering appropriately, but in reality, he's just repeating a movie line. This is something that happens at school and home frequently. Another example, if you ask him what an object is (such as a house or a bike or a leaf,) he can't tell you. He knows what they are, but he can't describe it to you. Right now in preschool with ten kids and three teachers, he is doing great. He gets a lot of personal attention and is excelling. But come August, he will be in school 7 hours a day, 5 days a week with 25+ kids and one teacher and we have been really stressing about it.

So I was worried going in there today. I was worried about kindergarten. I was worried that they were not going to renew his IEP without a fight and I was worried about Caden and what's best for him. I was pleasantly surprised when I got there and discovered that not only will they be renewing his IEP, they are working on getting him an aide that will go to school with him 1/2 day, everyday next year! I could not be happier. Caden will do SO good in kindergarten if he has an aide with him everyday. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

So nice to have some happy news this week :)

This is how Caden eats all of his meals lately. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner you can find him squatting on the table like some kind of jungle man, hovering over his food like someone is going to come along and steal it.

2011-02-14T00:07:00.003-07:00

I have a couple of blog posts that I've been working on this week, but they aren't ready yet, so you get my ramblings instead. It's late and I can't sleep. So much on my mind this week.

When Tyler had his 15 month check-up, the pedi referred him to Early Intervention for an eval. I put it off because I really thought she was jumping the gun and that he was just fine. I finally called them and scheduled an appointment and they came last Tuesday. He definitely qualifies for services for various reasons. They also have some other concerns and have put in referrals for us to see some other providers. I don't really want to get into all of it. Or rather, I refuse to let myself think about it and be in reality about it. But basically, our Ty baby is struggling. I'll write more about it in the coming months when we see how things play out. We're hoping and praying that he's just having some temporary setbacks.

One of the things they mentioned was his "unusual gait" which I had failed to notice. They asked me to have the PT look at it at our next visit. I really thought they were making something out of nothing, but I asked him anyway. The PT had noticed the gait and had charted it and is keeping an eye on it. If it doesn't start to improve soon, then he will refer us to the orthopaedic surgeon. He believes that Tyler may have a bone deformity in his right foot. Lucky for us, there is a fabulous pediatric orthopaedic surgeon IN Carlsbad. We have so few specialists here, so if Tyler's foot does need to be worked on, we feel really blessed that it can be done so close to home.

The other kids are doing good. We had three snow days a couple of weeks ago and they loved that. It was too cold to go out and play in it (-15 with the windchill) so I don't have any pics, but we really did have a fun few days together. I love being their mama <3

Happy Vday!

The Best Medicine

2011-02-10T11:07:00.002-07:00

Faith Building Experiences

2011-01-28T09:21:00.005-07:00

When Tyler got burned, it kind of felt like the whole world got turned upside down. Our lives were placed on hold and replaced with 7-hour round trip doctor appointments and bandage changes and pain meds and comforting our sweet baby. We were also trying to give our other children attention and trying to keep the house semi-clean and get ready for Christmas.

We are home now and I was hoping that we would pick up where we left off, but life is different now. Tyler's care is still taking up much of my day. We do physical therapy three times a day, play therapy three times a day, minor wound care where the dry skin is cracking open, lots of moisturizing, massaging the scar tissue, putting the glove on, taking it off and putting the splint on and vice versa (they are both really tricky to get on just right,) hand washing all of the bandages and pads and the glove and hang drying them. We also go to PT twice a week. Healing Tyler's hand has become my whole existence. Just as Caden's autism and Cierra's epilepsy did. But trying to find the balance between all four kids is rough. They all want and need my attention. As does Erick and the house. There is laundry to be washed and dishes to be done and meals to be cooked. Plus I am taking an online class and so I am losing quite a bit of sleep staying up late trying to stay caught up on the homework. I feel like I am being pulled in every direction possible.

The point of the preceding is that I am stressed. To my maximum. Yesterday was no exception. Tyler screamed all day. ALL DAY. Screamed and screamed and screamed. I put him in his crib and shut the door multiple times throughout the day because I couldn't handle it anymore. I gave him motrin and codeine. I changed his diaper. I offered him food. And he just screamed some more. He screamed so long and so hard that I was contemplating taking him to the ER because he has never acted this way before. I was worried that I was missing something. Erick has been working nights all week, so he sleeps all day and is gone all night, so I've been 100% on my own. Tyler was calm for a few minutes, so I called my mom. I needed to vent and talk to someone. I was at a breaking point and didn't know how much more I could handle. This was about 8pm. We talked for a few minutes and I told her that I wasn't doing well. I was at a point that I don't think I've ever been at. I felt so alone and so overwhelmed and I just didn't know what to do.

Then there was a knock at my door and I almost didn't answer it because it was dark and we weren't expecting anyone. I was a mess and the house was a mess. But Caden ran to the door and threw it open. It was someone from my ward. He had his youth companion with him and they had been out doing their home teaching and felt like they should stop and by and see how we were doing. I let them in and he asked how I was doing and I promptly started crying. I told him how overwhelmed I was and about the day I had had. I was embarrassed because I don't really know either of them, but the words and the tears just spilled out. He asked me if I wanted a blessing and I said yes. In the blessing I was reminded of many simple truths that I hadn't been thinking about lately. They left soon after that and Tyler started screaming again, Caden demanded all of my attention and it was a battle to get everyone to bed. Life went right back to normal.

But I went to bed last night with a better sense of the love that my Heavenly Father has for me and a deeper appreciation for personal revelation. This brother from my ward is not my home teacher and had no obligation to check on us. Before last night, I had only spoken to him once when he came over with the bishop to give Tyler a blessing when he was first injured. But he listened to a prompting to check on us and I am grateful that he did. When I felt alone and desperate, He sent someone to remind me that I am not alone. I am NEVER alone. He is always with me and knows my needs and knows what is best for me. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have of the gospel and I am grateful for a gracious and loving Heavenly Father that is always there for me.

Our Trip to Utah and the latest on Tyler

2011-01-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

We left for Utah on January 2nd. Well, we attempted to leave anyway. Vivienne took the bus over from El Paso to help me drive up and when we got in the car to leave, it wouldn't start. Finally got it to jump start and took it to Walmart to get a new battery, but when we got there, they said that the battery was fine and they suspected the alternator. So we then drove over to Auto Zone and had it checked and it was indeed a bad alternator. Lucky for us, one of the employees had a friend who does mechanic work on the side and he came to our rescue and came to Auto Zone and fixed my van in the parking lot, on a Sunday for only $40. We only made it to Albuquerque the first night because of the late start to our day. I woke up Monday morning feeling really sick, so Viv did the majority of the driving from Albuquerque to Sandy. We arrived safe and sound, despite the snow packed roads between Cortez and Monticello. Oh yeah, and we almost hit a deer in Spanish Fork Canyon. Lucky for us (and the deer) he jumped out of the way just in time.

I woke up Tuesday morning really, really sick and running a high temp (105). I got up and went to a walk-in clinic and my rapid strep came back positive. They gave me steroids and antibiotics and I was feeling much, much better 24 hours later.

Wednesday we went to the Burn Clinic and I all ready posted all the details about that visit (see next post down.) I was so impressed with the care he got at the U vs the care he was getting in Lubbock. All of the BTICU docs are really great and so willing to spend extra time with you and make sure that everything is taken care of.

Since Tyler's graft surgery was cancelled, I decided to see if I could get Cierra into the neuro while we were in town. They had a cancellation the same day that I called, so we went and saw the neuro's PA (Shari.) She is super concerned that Cierra is still having so many seizures and she thinks that Cierra doesn't seem like herself (and she doesn't a lot of the time.) When Cierra had her MRI done 2.5 years ago, they found a cyst in her brain and at the time, they didn't think it had anything to do with her seizures. But now that she has failed two medications and is still having daily seizures, they started reviewing everything. The neuro and the PA both said that they see a thickening in her brain in the area around the cyst (this is all in her left temporal lobe.) Not really a good thing. They want to do a surgical work-up on her when we are back in town and that will include staying inpatient for 7 days and having a continuous EEG done and have another MRI done with higher clarity and having some other tests done. If they can pin point an area where the seizures are orginating from, she might be a candidate for having that portion of her brain removed or having a VNS implanted. Scary stuff. If her seizures get better or stay the same, we can wait to do this until school gets out, but if her seizures get worse or change, they want us back up to Utah ASAP so they can monitor her and see if they can figure out what's going on. Not exactly the news I was expecting to hear on a routine med check. It made the trip a little more stressful. It sure takes a lot out of me watching these kids struggle. I wish I could just take it all for them.

We spent the rest of the trip going to PT and Burn Clinic appointments with Tyler and doing some shopping and spending lots of time with family and friends. We picked up his glove last Wednesday and also saw another BTICU surgeon. This surgeon said that he wants to see Tyler back in about 6 weeks, so we might be flying up to Utah at the beginning of March. He seems more concerned about Ty's hand then the PT's do, so it will be interesting to see how it does. The PT thinks that Tyler might only need to wear the glove for 4-5 months and then be done with everything, but the surgeon said that it is "highly probable" that Tyler will need surgery to remove scar tissue and have grafting done in the very near future and that he will need to stay in the glove for closer to 18 months. He also said that he will most likely need surgery more than once, like the other surgeon told us. Only time will tell, but I am sure hoping and praying that his little hand will keep healing itself and that he will avoid surgery.

Tyler's splint. He has to wear this at naptime and nighttime. He pretty much hates it.

Eating a sucker that he got from one of the nurses. Once he discovered that they had a whole basket full of them, we had to walk out to the front desk over and over again so that he could get another one, take the wrapper off, take one lick, and then throw it in the garbage.

I have been trying to get a good picture of Tyler's glove since we got it, but well, he moves a lot, so this is the best pic I have of it. It's actually kind of cute. You get to choose all the colors and a design for it. We have two more ordered and headed our way shortly.

We stayed at Nana and Bubba's house, but we also spent a lot of time at Grandma's house.
Tyler getting aquainted with the new kitty at Grandma's house, Hiccup.

Kenz and Grandma

We went to Chuck E Cheese.
Ty eating some pizza and using both hands :)

Caden and Tanner

Kenz and Cierra trying to scare away all the little kids that were there that day.

Taking a bath in Nana's sink :)
I ended up having to drive myself and the kids back to Carlsbad alone. It was a long, long drive and I am still exhausted from it. We made it to Gallup the first night and stayed at a hotel. The kids were loopy and tired by the time we got there. It took us an extra hour to get there because the GPS sent us in the wrong direction. My kids are such good travelers, so even though it was a rough 900 miles home, overall, it went pretty well. My biggest complaint? The undetected and scentless diarhhea that Tyler kept having. He had one sore bottom by the time we made it home.

TyTy's Hand Update

2011-01-12T09:30:00.001-07:00

We met with the surgeon at the U of U Burn Center last Wednesday and she decided to wait on the skin grafting because Tyler's hand looked like it was finally starting to heal on it's own. We are glad that she decided to wait because his hand has made great progress in the last week. We are at day #23 today and he still has a few open wounds, but most of his hand and fingers are now covered with new, pink skin and lots of thick scar tissue. We are still doing daily bandage changes, but they have gotten much less painful for Tyler. We are also doing PT three times a day and play therapy three times a day. He doesn't like either of those, but he tolerates them for the most part. He was fitted for a glove on Monday that he will be wearing for the next 12-18 months. That should be ready on Tuesday and then the kids and I will start driving back to Carlsbad on Wednesday. He will actually have 3-4 gloves at a time and they will have to be replaced every 3-4 months, but they only rush ordered one for now and then they will ship us the rest. We also found a PT in Carlsbad that can take over Tyler's care when we get back in town, so we are happy about that. He's not a burn expert, but he has treated some burns and feels confident that he can help Tyler regain full function of his hand. We will not know for several months or even close to a year if Tyler will need surgery to remove scar tissue and release contractures. They told us that he will most likely need surgery several times in his life to make sure that his hand has full function. As he goes through growth spurts, his bones will grow faster than the scar tissue can stretch and so often times they have to have surgery a few months after it happens, and then again at age 5 or 6, and then again when they go through puberty. But only time will tell what his little hand is going to do. Thank you all for your prayers and fasting. I know that it played a role in Tyler's healing process thus far. We are so grateful for all of the love and support that we have received. We feel certain that we made the right decision in transferring his care to the burn center at the U. It was not an easy decision to make, but it was made prayerfully and we know that it has been the best thing Tyler. We will be seeing the surgeon again at the end of May when school gets out and we head back to Utah. We will also be doing some medical things for Cierra at the same time, but that is another post for another time.
Day #11

Day #20

2011-01-01T21:39:00.004-07:00

"The beginning of hardship is like the first taste of bitter food--it seems for a moment unbearable; yet, if there is nothing else to satisfy our hunger, we take another bite and find it possible to go on."

I heard this quote today and I feel like it perfectly describes so many experiences in my life, but I feel it is especially describes the experience we are having with Tyler right now. I always knew that burns were painful. Especially third degree burns and the cleaning and scrubbing that go along with healing them. And the grafting and physical therapy, and so on. But I really had no idea the kind of pain it involved until last week. Now I know because I inflict it on Tyler ever day.

Once a day, I spend about 15 minutes getting new dressing and different creams ready and then I run a bath. Tyler used to LOVE the bath. It was by far his favorite thing to do. Now when he hears the water running, he runs and screams and does everything in his power to get away from me. But, I always win and I drag him kicking and screaming into the bathroom. Once in there, I undress him and very slowly cut his coban off. This is when the real screaming starts. I then put him in the tub and put his little hand under water before I slowly try taking the adaptic off. Once his hand is exposed, I have to clean it and scrub all the dead skin off. I can't even describe what happens when I do this. The screaming that I thought couldn't get any worse, does just that and his whole body shakes uncontrollably. When I'm done cleaning it, I rinse it gently under the faucet and then I get him out. And then I cry with him. Every single day. By the time we're done, the water is no longer clear, but tinted red. After the bath, I have to pat it dry and then put new pieces of adaptic on each finger and then wrap them individually and then put adaptic on his palm and wrap the rest of his hand up. After this, he usually cries for another 10-15 minutes before he passes out in my arms. We time the bandage changes so that both of his pain meds are in full effect, but it seems to have little affect on his overall pain level. But, I wouldn't want to try it without the pain meds. I can't even begin to imagine.

Everyday when I start cleaning his wound, I hesitate and think that I can't do it. I can't hurt him one more time. But then I realize that there is no alternative and I take a deep breath and do what needs to be done. It kills me a little everytime, but I keep eating the bitter food because it's all I have. And then all of the sudden, it's done for the day and we have both survived. The first bandage change I did on my own was at my sister-in-laws house and I kept saying "I can't do this. I really can't do this." And she reminded that I could do it. I can do hard things. Hard things are, unfortunately, a very necassary part of life.

My sweet baby boy-I am so, so sorry that you are going through this very painful time in your life. I would give anything to trade places with you. Please remember that I love you and I'm praying for you, along with many other people. We have to go to Utah tomorrow and the next few weeks are going to be very painful, much more than the last two have been. But you are strong and soon this will all be behind you. I love you more than life itself and I hope that someday you'll learn to trust me again.-Mom

My Sweet Tyler

2010-12-28T19:16:00.007-07:00

Last Monday, Tyler picked up a flat iron and recieved 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his palm and four fingers on his left land. It has been a nightmare to watch him struggle with the pain. We are going to the burn clinic in Lubbock again on Thursday and should have a better idea then about if/when he will need skin grafting and surgery. We have also been in contact with Shriners in Galveston (the closest Shriners to us that treats burns) about possibly transferring his care there. Please keep our sweet baby in your prayers.

Day #1 about 2 hours after it happened. Finally passed out at the ER once the pain meds kicked in

Day #3

Day #7-white=bad unless it's dead skin and none of the white in this pic is dead skin.

Back online

2010-12-11T21:39:00.006-07:00

A little over a month ago, I dropped my laptop and the screen shattered on the inside. We finally have it up and working again....yay!

We've had lots of things happening at our house the last month. The biggest news is that Erick got a new job and is now home every day! We haven't all lived under the same roof full time for two years. It is really nice not feeling like a single mother anymore.

Other good news......I got my acceptance letter to NMSU today! I am so excited to be going back to school. I took a break just before Caden was diagnosed with autism. And then a few months later, Cierra was diagnosed with epilepsy and then we moved to Roswell and then I got pregnant with Tyler and had the pregnancy from hell and here we are 2 1/2 years later and I am finally getting back to it. Hopefully, we have a mellow few years so that I can finally get my degree. Ha! Funny joke. But, hopefully I can juggle it all.

We have our tree up and are excited for Christmas. Erick is working 6am-6pm on the 24th, 25th, and 26th so Christmas is going to be a little different this year, but we will make it work.

Tyler is just as naughty as can be. He is such a rambunctious little boy. He is so strong-willed and isn't shy about it. He throws tantrum after tantrum all day long because he is constantly being told "no" or "don't touch" or "no biting" and so on. He is perfectly content however if we just let him wander around the house in his diaper, doing as he pleases. I have never had a baby bite as much as Tyler does. He bites everything he can get his little teeth close to. Thankfully, that's not me so much anymore because he is FINALLY weaned! It was such a battle, but we have been done for about three weeks now :) Tyler has also recently discovered his nostrils and his belly button and he can usually be found with his finger in one or the other or both.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

2010-11-04T12:45:00.005-06:00

1. Caden informed me today that cuddling makes him feel orange.

2. A couple nights ago, Tyler puked, peed, and puked again on the living room floor in a span of three minutes.

3. I'm pretty sure that Job and I are related.

4. We have a house full of toys and fun things to do and yet Tyler insists on playing in the garbage can ALL. DAY. LONG.

5. We've been in Carlsbad almost 7 weeks and I still have a few boxes to unpack. Truthfully, they're probably going to be sitting there for a while longer.

6. I *think* that our baby factory might be closed for good. These kids have been giving me a run for my money lately.

7. Tyler has an aversion to most yellow and orange foods.

8. I got asked to leave the pediatrician's office a couple weeks ago because we follow an alternate vaccine schedule. I have never been treated so rude in my life. I have a son who stopped talking and regressed into his own little world after receiving his 12-month shots, so we space out the vaccines a little bit. I know, I know. I'm a rebel.

9. I scared Kenzie half to death the other night with a video that I showed her on Youtube and now she can't sleep. That's what you call great parenting right there.

10. We found a new neurologist for Cierra, but he's all the way in Albuquerque. It is going to a long drive back and forth to appointments. Her first appt is November 29th.

The deer-1, Erick's car-0

2010-11-03T09:23:00.002-06:00

Halloween in Carlsbad

2010-11-03T09:03:00.003-06:00

It was a typical Sullivan family Halloween here in Carlsbad. We bought Caden three different costumes and they were all "wrong" for various reasons. He ended up wearing a costume that we borrowed from Karen and the other three costumes were packed away in hopes of being used next year. Last year we only got Caden one costume and he wore it everywhere, everyday. Except on Halloween. He refused to wear it and went trick-or-treating in his regular clothes. Oh Caden.

We went trunk-or-treating at the church on Wednesday night, downtown trick-or-treating on Friday night, and regular trick-or-treating on Saturday night. Kenzie only dressed up for the ward party and went as the corpse bride. Cierra was the red queen and dressed up for a halloween party, trunk-or-treating, and downtown trick-or-treating. She was so sick of getting the make-up on that she went trick-or-treating in her regular clothes on Halloween. My kids are a bunch of weirdos. Tyler was the cutest little cow ever. We only dressed him up for the ward party. There was no way I was wrestling him into that thing more than once.

All in all a success.

*Two random bits of information-orange kit kats are gross and it is really funny that everyone here thinks that Carlsbad has a downtown.

Spiderman's Orientation

2010-10-21T07:35:00.002-06:00

Caden and Cierra were playing the other day and Caden told Cierra that he wanted to marry Spiderman. Cierra told him that he couldn't because Spiderman is a boy. That wasn't enough of an answer for Caden, so Cierra kindly explained to Caden what gay means. Caden's response? "I sure hope Spiderman is gay."

Caden's first day of school in Utah

2010-10-17T08:05:00.011-06:00

Caden started back at the same preschool that he went to last year before we moved. He only went there for a few weeks, but he loved it. Teacher Janice is a great teacher and he adored her and made so much progress in her class. He got to ride the bus this year and was so excited about. Then after two weeks, he refused to ride the bus anymore because it was too long. I though that he meant the bus ride was too long, but nope, the actual bus was too long and it bugged him. Yeah, that's my boy. So here are a few pics. He didn't want any pictures taken, so this is how they turned out.

Carlsbad!

2010-10-15T22:12:00.007-06:00

Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since we arrived at our new home in Carlsbad. Time has been so weird since we got here. It feels like we've been here forever and at the same time, I can't believe it's all ready been a whole month since we left. It was a bittersweet goodbye leaving Utah. I miss everyone there so much! But I'm so happy to be a family again and it is really fun having our own house. We've had a million different apartments, but this is our very first house and we love it. It's small, but it fits the six of us just fine. We are still not all the way unpacked, but we're getting there. I would guess that we're about 90% done. I started hanging pictures a few days ago and it's starting to feel like home now. I'm going to take pictures soon so everyone can see where we're living :)

The girls are going to the charter school here and they love it and I love it. It is a FABULOUS school with amazing teachers. Kenz and Cierra both had a hard time leaving Utah, but they are adjusting and making friends and they are both starting to like it here. Caden is in preschool here and he seems to really like it now that he's gotten used to it. He is making progress everyday, but we still have plenty of struggles. His social skills (or lack of) kill me sometimes. We went to an Ice Cream Social at JMA (the girls' school) the other night and one of the secretaries tried to talk to Caden and he wouldn't look at her or answer her. He just repeated under his breath, but loud enough for her to hear "weird voice, weird voice, weird voice" over and over and over again. Apparently he didn't like her accent. Then he saw a boy walk in a few minutes later and yelled "That boy has a long neck!" Oh Caden. My life would be so dull without you.

Tyler is just the cutest thing ever. He is turning into a naughty little toddler and I love it. He has eight cute little teeth that show when he jabbers and smiles and laughs and he has taken a few steps. He is almost *fingers crossed* weaned. He enjoys throwing EVERYTHING, hitting EVERYONE, biting, playing outside, and taking baths. He loves to drive cars and motorcycles and say "brrrmmmmmmmmmm." I need to get a video of it because I want to remember that car noise forever. He is constantly jabbering and trying to show us things and tell us all sorts of stuff. His favorite thing to say is "ajeesh." I really have no idea what it means, but it's adorable. I took him to Artesia the other day for his 1yr check-up (we tried the pediatrician here and she wouldn't take him as a patient because we do an alternate vaccine schedule.) He is 31.5 inches tall and weighs 24lbs 12oz. His growth has slowed down, but he is still a big boy.

I am doing okay. The move has not been easy on me. I still cry. A lot. But, I feel at peace and I know this is where we're supposed to be right now. I am keeping busy trying to decorate, doing yard work, registering cars, finding new doctors, etc. Moving is a pain! My foot is still not well and that makes it difficult to get a lot accomplished, but I *think* it is very slowly starting to heal. It can take up to a year, so I am trying to be patient. I got mastitis right before we moved and again right after we got here and now I am fighting a really bad cold. My body does not handle stress well (ie: strep throat on my wedding day.)

I wish I had tons of great pictures to post, but our camera broke right before we moved, so all I have is my cell phone for the time being. I'll find a few to put on here because every post should have a picture :)

The boys playing in their new room

Kenzie dressed herself up as a ninja one day. We get bored here.

Cierra showing off her cute hair (styled by Kenzie)

We buzzed Tyler's hair a few days ago. He looks so grown-up now!

Life

2010-10-15T11:37:00.003-06:00

I'm not sure why I have no desire to blog anymore. So much of it seems so generic and doesn't always truly reflect what was/is happening. Blogging about all the happy, shining moments is great, but to look back and reflect on life and only see those moments, is a disservice to ourselves. It is through our struggles and challenges (personal and otherwise) that we grow and learn. So even though those things can be hard to write about or even painful, it is through those things that we become who we are. Our trials, big and small, are what mold us into the people that we need to become in this life.

I have been through what feels like a tremendous amount trials, some of them so hard and so painful (and much too personal for a blog), that I wasn't sure I would survive them. The depth of pain I have experienced is not something I can put into words. But from this pain and despair, I have discovered things about myself that I never would have known. I have been lifted spiritually and I've grown and learned and changed. My trials have made me who I am today. I have more patience, more compassion, more forgiveness, more love, more understanding. I am a better person because of these trials. I never would have chosen these trials for myself. But now that I've been through them and survived them, I wouldn't change them. Some things are necessary for our growth, no matter how painful they are.

Today I sit here in my family room in Carlsbad, New Mexico, thinking and reflecting on the events of the last few months and of the events that led me to this place. Life is hard. When I was young, I couldn't have imagined what life had in store for me. You dream about getting married, having babies, living in a dream house, having plenty of money, and so on. Blah, blah, blah. Then you wake up and you're 27 and you have 4 kids, no college degree, a huge amount of debt, a child with epilepsy, a child with Asperger Syndrome, you're overweight, and you're renting a teeny little house in the middle of nowhere, 900 miles away from all of your family and friends. Not what I had planned on. At all. But, this is my life right now and I am learning to love it. I am learning to appreciate all of the small and simple things that happen everyday. I am learning to be grateful for what I have and to enjoy every second of every day. Good and bad.

So yes, life is hard. But life is good. Life is amazing, even with all the hardships along the way. So, I want to try and start blogging more often. I want to have this blog to look back on when I'm older so that I can remember our journey, our adventures, our tears shed, our life. I don't want to forget a single second of it.

First Day of School for the Girls

2010-08-23T16:14:00.001-06:00

1st day of 3rd grade

1st day of 7th grade

Moob-a-licious

2010-08-18T08:33:00.003-06:00

Tyler has the cutest little baby moobs I have ever seen :)

My Ty Baby and other happenings

2010-08-13T22:21:00.013-06:00

Tyler's first year is going by much too fast. In 7 short weeks, he'll be turning one. He is such an amazing little angel and I adore being his mama. He is starting to talk and can say-"hello, cat, phone, and uh-oh." He is also copying everything we do, such as brushing hair and teeth, talking on the phone, etc. He loves to be held and point where he wants you to walk to. He also loves playing peek-a-boo and "gonna get you." He crawls all over the house and is in to everything. He crawls normal with one leg and up on his foot with the other leg. It is the cutest little gimp crawl I have ever seen. He LOVES to be outside, especially when he can find the cat or if Bubba is giving him a stroller ride. He loves to drink out of a sippy without the stopper in it or out of a regular cup, but he will only drink water and is also very selective with the food he puts in his mouth. It is such a battle to get him to eat any solid food at all everyday and usually, I lose. Nana is the only who can get him to eat on a regular basis. At the rate he's going, I'll still be nursing him when he leaves for college! His lack of eating isn't slowing his growth down at all though. At his 9 month check-up he weighed in at 23lbs 2oz and is 30in. We found out in July that he has a milk allergy, but since he and I stopped eating all dairy he is feeling and acting much better and I'm changing waaaaay less diapers everyday. Hopefully he'll outgrow it in the next couple of years. Overall, he is such a happy boy and just loves life. He always has a very "content" look on his face. He adores his siblings and follows them around all day. Caden was gone overnight this week and when he got home, Tyler couldn't contain his excitement. My two boys played and wrestled and giggled for 30 minutes after Caden got back. It was so sweet.

I took Caden and Tyler to get pictures taken a few weeks ago :) They are so dang cute together!

He looks so much like Erick in this pic

Caden wanted to wink for this picture some reason...lol

Do you see those square cheeks? I could just eat them!

I don't think I would be surviving without Kenz. She is such a big help to me. I had foot surgery last week and I'm supposed to be staying off my foot as much as possible, but when your husband is only home once a month or less, it's really hard to take it easy. The house is a wreck and we have all been eating cereal for dinner, except for when my mom and grandma brought us dinner or when Vivienne cooks for us (thanks guys!) The worst part is that I have to have the same surgery again on the other foot in three months. Hopefully by Christmas time, I'll be all recovered and walking without pain for the first time in years.

Erick has not been able to find a job here in Utah, so it looks like we'll most likely be heading back down to The Land of Enchantment sometime in the next few months, so that we can be a family again. This last year has been extremely hard on all of us. If you pray, please pray for us to be able to be together again soon.

The summer is winding down and my three oldest are getting ready to head back to school soon. We have had a very laid-back summer with lots of family BBQ's and lots of lazy days just hanging around the house. Kenz will be starting her first year of middle school (yikes!), Cierra is going into the third grade, and Caden is going back to the same special needs preschool that he went to last year. I think only Caden is excited. He gets to ride the bus this year and is SO thrilled about it. Teacher Janice is going to be his teacher again and I am thrilled about that. She is such a wonderful teacher and Caden made so much progress in her class last year. I can't wait to see what he accomplishes this year. When I told Caden that Teacher Janice was going to be his teacher again he said, "I don't like her glasses. Tell her to get different glasses." He is so funny about stuff like that. Cierra had another EEG done last month and we discovered that her seizures have changed from partial seizures to general seizures. We made some medication adjustments and she seems to be doing much better so far (and her tic is gone!) I really hope that this helps her have a better school year. Kenzie is nervous about starting middle school, but I know that after a couple of weeks, she will be adjusted and love it. I can't believe that I have a child old enough to be in middle school! Where has the time gone?!

Kenzie and Tyler at Lisa's house for the 4th of July

Cierra, Caden, and Tyler up in the canyon

This post is ending up much longer than I had planned it to be, but I have to fit in one more thing. Erick was in a very serious car accident two weeks ago and was very lucky to walk away with only sore muscles. He car is a total loss. I was devastated when it happened, but it has been a blessing in disguise. It has eliminated a $300 a month car payment and that puts us that much closer to being together again. Be careful what you pray for, you never how your prayers are going to get answered...lol!

Caden's 4th Birthday

2010-06-22T22:30:00.000-06:00

Caden turned four a couple of weeks ago and I let him invite some friends to his party because friends have all of the sudden become so important to him. We had his party on Saturday, but his actual birthday was Sunday, so that caused some confusion. He thought that he turned four on Saturday and then five on Sunday. I think we have it all straightened out now. He had been asking for Wolverine Claws and Buzz Lightyear Wings for months, so I ordered them off Amazon, but when the claws arrived, he could tell by the shape of the box exactly what they were and we had to open them right away. He's not the kind of kid who deals well with anticipation and suspension :)

His party was pretty noisy and it overwhelmed him a little, but after he got his headphones on, he was much happier. He had a hard time waiting to open presents, so in the middle of dinner, he snuck away and started opening all of his presents by himself in the living room. I only figured it out when I heard "Cool!" "Whoa!" coming from the next room. He loved all of his presents and I think he really had a good time.

Getting ready for the party to start
Party Time! Tyler playing with the party balloons
Presents!

He chose a banana cake and decorated it all by himself :)

Mini-party on Sunday with Uncle Shaun.

A gift that one of my friends sent him in the mail. It came a couple of days after his bday and he said "Haha....she still thinks it my birthday!"

A couple of weeks before his brithday, Caden finally figured out how to pedal a bike. I was so proud that we went out and bought him a new bike and called it an early bday present. He had never had a "real" bike before and it was so fun to take him shopping for it. He LOVES it and is getting really good at riding it all around.

Notice that he is humming the song "Tequila" in the background.

A Catch-up Post

2010-06-20T22:42:00.000-06:00

I am sooooo far behind on blogging. Our computer crashed in January and I finally took it in to get it fixed and they couldn't fix it. So, I decided to just save up for a new computer. I finally saved enough and bought my new laptop about a month ago. I love it! I thought when I got it that I would just jump right back into blogging, but I guess I got out of the habit. I don't even know where to start to get caught up on everything.

Kenzie is officially done with elementary school. She is spending the summer sleeping in and hanging out with friends. She also helps me a ton around the house and with the other kids.

Cierra is doing pretty well right now. She just finished up 2nd grade and is thrilled to be out of school for the summer. She is still having lots of small seizures, but she hasn't had a big seizure for a few weeks. We are playing around with meds right now. Once we get her completely tapered off of one of her meds, we are going to go up on another one and hopefully we will see good results.

Caden turned four last week. He had a great party and loves all of his new toys. He made great progress at school this year. I am so proud of all that he has accomplished. He is talking great, but still has a hard time understanding and articulating things the way that the rest of us do. He also still struggles quite a bit with his sensory issues. He misses school so much! He asks me everyday to take him to school. He had a great teacher that did so much for him.

Tyler is now 8 months old. He weighs 23lbs and is 30 inches. He started crawling last week and it so cute to watch. He crawls very slowly and carefully. He is clapping and pointing and can sign "baby", "more", and "all done". He is just the sweetest baby. I love his cute, little personality. He has decided lately that he doesn't need any sleep, so that is frustrating, but hopefully we can get that all worked out soon. He cried for an hour tonight before he finally passed out. I hope tomorrow night is better.

Erick is still working in New Mexico and the kids and I are still living in Utah. We are hoping to be living in the same house again before the summer is over. It has been really hard on all of us. We might even have some answers this week *fingers crossed*

Here a few pics from the last few months :)

Please, please, please!!!!

2010-04-22T19:38:00.000-06:00

I've sent you all emails and put it on facebook a hundred times and so far, only Jared and Karen plus some of my friends have donated, so now it's time to put it on the blog :)

We are doing the autism walk this year and would greatly appreciate your support to help fund autism research. Autism currently affects 1 in 150 children. It WILL touch your life someday. I know these are rough economic times, but even a small donation will go a long way. Please help us fight the autism battle!

http://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=331507&supId=287768019&msource=boundlessfun

Six Months!

2010-04-12T22:58:00.000-06:00

Can you believe it? Tyler is already six months old! The time has flown by. He had his six month check-up today and weighed in at 21 lbs 6oz and is 29 3/4 inches tall! He is officially bigger than all of our other kids at one year old. Tyler is doing fabulous and is learning new things everyday. He is starting to sit up really well and can roll from back to tummy. He is the best-natured baby I have ever been around. So mellow and laid back. I just love being his mommy :)

Brothers

2010-01-05T22:30:00.001-07:00

Me: "Caden I'm going to take a picture of you and Tyler, smile!" Tyler has other plans

Caden: "Look I got him to stop crying!"

Success. The cutest boys on the planet.

Christmas 2009

2009-12-31T23:27:00.001-07:00

Christmas was great this year. We really tried to scale down the present giving and focus much more on the true meaning of Christmas. We only gave the kids three presents each to represent the three presents that were given to Christ. We also read lots of scriptures, lots of Christmas storie, and watched The Nativity Story. I tried really hard to help Caden understand what Christmas is really all about, but he didn't really grasp it. He just wanted to know if were going to have birthday cake on Christmas because it was some guy named Jesus' birthday.

I tried to take a few pictures of my boys in their Christmas outfits. My photo shoot did not go as planned, but the pictures are adorable anyway.

On the 23rd, we had the Sullivan family Christmas party. Vivienne made a fabulous dinner and we did a recreation of the Christmas story. Here is a picture of the cast.

Cierra as the angel

Carol, Grandma Tiede, Mackenzie

On Christmas Eve, we had the Morrow/DuBreuil family Christmas party. Megan and I made lasagna and everyone else provided the rest. We sang some Christmas songs and let the kids open their Christmas eve pajamas.

Caden and Tanner showing off their new PJ's

Chad nursing the gingerbread man and me nursing Tyler

Christmas morning was so much fun. Caden had been asking for a Batman cave for months and then when it was finally time to see what Santa brought, he ran right past it. We had to turn him around and show him where it was. Then he fell on the ground and hugged it. After presents, we went over to my Mom's for our traditional Christmas breakfast and to open a few more gifts.

Waiting to see what Santa brought

Tyler checking out his loot

The long awaited Batcave

Cierra got an iPod shuffle from the big man

Santa brought Kenz a portable DVD player

Present Time!

Chad and Tyler

Megan, Tanner, Cierra

Kenz showing off the awesome set of pom-poms that she got from Tanner

Pranksterella

2009-12-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

Kenzie is our little prankster. She loves to play pranks on us and thoroughly enjoys our reaction each and every time. She even made a rap at school about her mythical character "Pranksterella" for her oral report and performed it in front of her whole class. It even ended up on the weekly school broadcast for the whole school to see. The picture below is where we found our Christmas tree one day. We love you Kenz!

The Jazz

2009-12-31T21:30:00.000-07:00

Cierra had an appointment with the neurologist a few weeks ago at Primary Children's. It just so happened to be the same day that the Utah Jazz were there visiting all the kids. She was able to meet a few of them and get a signed basketball. It was such a fun experience for her. I'm so glad that she is able to have these experiences, among all of her hardships.

Cierra with Wes Matthews and Ronnie Brewer and some Jazz dancers

Cierra with Kyrylo Fesenko, a coach, and some Jazz dancers

Cierra's baptism and Tyler's blessing

2009-12-31T21:10:00.000-07:00

Erick was home for Thanksgiving, so we did Cierra's baptism and Tyler's blessing that weekend. Thanks so much to all of the family and friends who came. It was a perfect day. Shaun baptized Cierra and Bruce blessed our baby Tyler. We are so proud of Cierra for making the decision to be baptized.

Uncle Shaun and Cierra

The baptism :)

Erick and Cierra

Cierra and her cousin Shakayla who was also baptized this year

My Ty Guy :)

Aunt Megan and Tyler

Mama and Tyler

Erick and Tyler

Grandma Tiede and Tyler

The surprises that I found on my camera after I asked Kelly to hold it for me

Cierra and Kenzie's Birthdays

2009-12-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

Cierra and Kenzie both celebrated birthdays in November. We just had low-key family parties because I was just not up to a big friend party with a brand-new baby. Tyler was in the hospital for Kenzie's birthday, so she kind of missed out on having an actual party, but she survived. Here are some pics.

Cierra turns 8

Kenzie turns 12

Tyler's eight day stay at Primary's

2009-12-31T15:47:00.000-07:00

Right after Shaun's homecoming, Caden came down with a cold and promplty passed it onto Tyler via sticking his hands in Tyler's mouth ALL the time. Tyler managed it okay for a few days, but then started retracting and wheezing, so I took him into a night time clinic (why do kids always get sick on the weekends?) The doctor there debated on admitting him because he didn't sound good and was so young (only 5 wks and 5 days at this point.) But after the chest xray came back clear, he decided to send us home with strict instructions to bring him to the ER if he got worse or spiked a fever. During the night he got much worse and started running a temp, so Sunday morning I left all the kids with Bruce and took Tyler up to the ER at Primary Children's. They did lots of blood work, started an IV and put him on oxygen. He tested positive for RSV and was not maintaining his oxygen well and was requiring wall suction, so they decided to admit him. I thought he might be there for 24 hours, maybe 48, but they kept him for eight days! It was pretty much the longest eight days of life. The first night we were there, he crashed and was totally unresponsive. They had a whole team of people working on him and they brought in a crash cart, but thankfully they got him stabilized and he didn't require intubation. It was terrifying, but I am so grateful for the great care that he recieved. The little boy next door had RSV, too and he crashed as well, but had to get a trach and was transferred to the ICU.

Vivienne and Bruce pretty much had to take over as parents to Kenzie, Cierra and Caden because I was at the hospital and Erick was in New Mexico. Thank you both for your help. Viv came up at some point every day so at that I could go home and shower and see everyone for a bit. We also had a couple of people from our ward came and stay with Ty, so that I could be home a little bit more. It was quite the experience. I don't know how parents of chronically-ill children do it. Thank you to everyone for all of your prayers and for all of the dinners that were brought to us. Tyler is doing great now and hopefully will never have RSV again.

One very sick little baby :(

One very tired mom and Tyler

Sleeping baby

Sleeping with his new teddy bear from Build-a-Bear, "Charlie"

A view of our prison cell :)

Mama and Tyler

Finally starting to feel better

Nana and Tyler

Taking a test run without any oxygen

Finally on our way home after eight long days!

Back-blogged Cousins visit

2009-12-30T22:38:00.001-07:00

I am so far behind on blogging, but I'm trying to hurry and catch up before the new year starts. Ben and Mary and their three kids came to Utah for Shaun's homecoming. It was so fun to see everyone and to meet their new baby boy, Gavin. The kids had lots of fun playing together. Caden was so confused that there was two babies around and kept asking which one was baby Tyler and which one was baby Gavin. Here are a few pics :)

Tyler and Gavin

Caden couldn't be left out of the picture taking with the boys

Caden and Livi

Just hanging out

Just Tyler :)

All of the grandkids

Little Snowdrop

2009-12-13T00:08:00.000-07:00

Someone that I love very much, lost someone that they love very much yesterday.

Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.

The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.

- Author Unknown -

Reflections

2009-12-08T08:17:00.000-07:00

Kenzie and Cierra both entered Reflections this year at school. Cierra entered in photography and visual art and won an honorable mention in visual art. Kenzie entered in literature and photography and won in photography and went on to Council.

We went to the Council award assembly the other night and Kenzie won there, too. Her entry is now going on to Regionals and if she wins there, she will go on to State. Way to go Kenz! We are so proud of you!

Feliz Navidad, oh Barack Obama

2009-12-03T22:53:00.000-07:00

I have a long list of things that I need to blog about, but this video is too cute to wait until I'm caught up. Caden's favorite Christmas song is Feliz Navidid. He sings it ALL the time. Today he put a new twist on it by adding Obama's name to it. Now it goes "Feliz Navidad, oh Barack Obama." He seriously makes me laugh out loud every single day. I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.

Back Blogged-Halloween!

2009-11-26T20:16:00.000-07:00

Halloween was so much fun this year! Dave and Heather threw an awesome Harry Potter party and we had lots of fun dressing up and trick-or-treating. I bought Caden's costume in September, so that I wouldn't have to worry about getting it after Tyler was born and he wore it all the time. Then on Halloween, he refused to wear it, so he went trick-or-treating in his regular clothes. He was supposed to be Buzz Lightyear, but I don't even have a picture of him dressed up. Kenzie was a fabulous hippie, Cierra was a great Ginny Weasley, and Tyler was a skeleton.

Back Blogged-Shaun comes home!

2009-11-26T20:02:00.000-07:00

On October 28th, Shaun came home from his mission! Two years is a long time and it was so good to see him and we love having him home. I am so proud of him for going on a mission and spending two years serving the Lord. Way to go Shaun! Here are some pictures from that day.

More pictures

2009-10-30T09:38:00.000-06:00

I don't have time to write a real post, but here some pictures from the last week or so. Tyler is doing great. He is very mellow and sweet and such an easy baby. He weighed 9lbs 8oz at his appointment on Monday, so he's growing good, too.

My two cute boys

Showing off his strong neck muscles

Just chilling

Sleepy boy

Baby Tyler has arrived!

2009-10-15T08:24:00.000-06:00

Our sweet little Tyler arrived October 5th, 2009 at 6:50pm. He weighed in at 8lbs 7oz and is 20 inches long. My labor was less than ideal since my epidural tubing came out of my back and no one knew for several hours, but they got a new one put in just before it was time to push, so the delivery was simple. Kenzie and Cierra were both able to be in the delivery room with us, which was neat. When they broke my water, they said that I had 1-2 gallons of amniotic fluid, so that's why I looked like I was carrying twins. Because of that and because of some of the things they saw on the ultrasounds, they did a few tests on Tyler just to make sure that everything was okay and it is. The hydrocele that they saw on the ultrasound is still there, but is small and shouldn't require surgery. So, overall, he got a clean bill of health. My recovery has been pretty easy physically, but emotionally it's been hard because Erick had to go back to NM when Tyler was only a few days old and we're not sure when he'll be back because money is tight.

The kids adore him, even Caden. They fight over who gets to hold him next. Tyler is pretty much the sweetest little baby ever. He rarely cries and is so mellow. I am so grateful for an easy baby, since I'm doing this all by myself. Here are some pictures of our newest addition.

For Your Enjoyment

2009-09-27T22:33:00.000-06:00

If anyone tells you that I have been grumpy and mean lately, they are probably right, but I have a good excuse. This baby is gigantic and I am miserable! I look and feel like I'm overdue and/or carrying twins. If you don't believe me, just see for yourself.

Our Recent Happenings

2009-09-26T10:57:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I posted and I decided I better do it today or I might not get to it before I have the latest addition to our family.

We had lots of family come into town for Grandpa Brown's funeral. Chuck and Kristin came early, so we had a get-together on Labor Day with everyone that was here. The kids had so much fun playing together. Here are some pictures and a video of that day.

Grandpa Brown's funeral was very special. President Monson came unannounced and spoke at the end. It was such an amazing, spiritual experience. My kids were able to meet him and shake his hand and get a picture taken with him. Cierra has her eyes half-closed (in true Ben style,) but we are going to have someone try to photoshop it. It was fun to see so many of Erick's family members and catch up with them. Erick was even able to be home two weekends in a row, which was really nice.

Caden started preschool a couple of weeks ago and is loving it. He is still a little nervous when I drop him off, but he always has a good time. I'm so glad that he likes it because last year he hated school. Caden continues to make fantastic progress and we are so happy that he is in our family.

Erick and I had a niece and nephew born to our families in the last couple of weeks. We love that our family keeps growing and getting bigger. We now have 25 nieces and nephews!

Tammi Hope Sullivan arrived August 28th, joining Jared and Karen and seven older brothers.

Gavin Benjamin Morrow arrived September 9th and joins Ben and Mary and two older sisters.

Things are going well with the kids and I. I feel about as good as can be expected at 38 weeks. I am anxious to meet our new little boy and excited to have my body back. I am scheduled to be induced on October 5th at 5:30am, so only 9 days to go! Hopefully my next post will be all about our little one's arrival :)

Grandpa Brown

2009-09-02T22:29:00.000-06:00

Erick's Grandpa Brown passed away early yesterday morning. He was a great man and I'm glad that I was able to get to know him a little before he passed on to the next life. Here are a few pics that I have from the last couple of years.

2009-08-29T22:50:00.001-06:00

Please keep Cierra in your thoughts and prayers. She is having some medication issues and is really struggling right now. Thanks.

First Day of School and an update

2009-08-26T12:29:00.000-06:00

Today is the first day of school and I am actually sad. I love having my girls home with me all day. I'm really going to miss them. Kenzie is starting 6th grade and has Mrs. Ward and Cierra is starting 2nd grade and has Mrs. Manion. We went to an openhouse at the school yesterday and got to meet the teachers and see the classrooms. They both picked adorable school clothes and looked so cute and grown-up this morning.

Life has been crazy busy since we got back to Utah. I've hardly had a free minute to finish unpacking. Erick came home last weekend for a quick visit. It was good to see him. Caden was especially excited. We went to Chuck E Cheese and had a campfire in the backyard and just relaxed and hung out together. We probably won't see him again until the baby gets here.

The baby and I are doing good. I have borderline gestational diabetes, so I have to watch what I eat very carefully, but I don't have to take insulin. My thyroid is starting to go high again, so my endocrinologist adjsuted my medication again. Hopefully that will take care of it. At my last appointment, my midwife told me that I'm having a very big baby, he was at least 5lbs then, so we'll see how big he is at birth. My last ultrasound showed a large hydrocele in his little boy parts. It's basically a big pocket of fluid that is caused by a tube not closing. They will do an ultrasound when he is born and decide if it needs to be surgically repaired or not. Baby boy is still transverse, so we are scheduling a version/induction or a c-section for the 5th or 6th of October. So, if they are able to turn him, then they will induce my labor and if they can't turn him, they will do the c-section. Only 39 days to go! I can't wait to meet this little man :)

I guess I need to be more specific.......

2009-08-12T21:37:00.000-06:00

Caden has been sick today and only wanted to eat popsicles this evening. So I ran to the store and bought some popsicles. I got home and put them in the freezer and he promptly got them back out to eat. I told him to get a bowl out to put it in and this is what I found when I came back in the room a few minutes later. I guess a pie pan works.........

Cierra

2009-08-08T11:24:00.000-06:00

My sweet Cierra,

What a blessing you are to our family. I can't imagine my life without you. I'm sorry that you have had to go through so many trials in your short little life. Epilepsy is a rotten, horrible disease and I'm sorry that you have to face it and struggle with it everyday. I wish I could battle it for you. I admire your strength and your courage. You rarely complain about your seizures, even though some days you have 50 or more and they leave you exhausted and hardly able to function. I hope that you never let your epilepsy stop you from doing everything that you want to do in this life. You have so much to offer the world and I hope that you will always do your best and shine, no matter what you're faced with. I love you so much and I am so proud of you for all the things that make you who you are.

Love,
Mom

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Uncle Ben comes for a visit

2009-08-07T15:32:00.000-06:00

My brother Ben flew into town last Saturday from San Antonio to help take care of my Mom, who had just gotten out of the hospital. It was fun to see him and have him here for a few days. Caden called him "that guy" just about the whole time he was here and Tanner thought he was Chad. I can't wait until November when Ben and his whole family will be here for a visit.

We are here!

2009-07-31T21:14:00.000-06:00

We made it to Utah Monday afternoon. It was a long drive and poor Kenzie got sick, but we all made it alive and well. My mom has been in the hospital since we got here, so I haven't made very much progress unpacking, but she was released today and is hopefully on the mend. I saw my midwife on Tuesday and had an ultrasound Thursday. Good news- baby's lip and stomach look great! Bad news- he is still transverse and I still have placenta previa, so it looks like we'll most likely be doing a c-section. But as long he gets here healthy, that's all that matters. He is weighing in at just under 4lbs and has chubby cheeks! Also, I failed my 1 hour glucose test, so I had to go and do the 3 hour glucose test today. I should have the results next week. Cierra saw the nuerologist this week as well. We adjusted meds again because her seizures have been really bad lately. If she is still having seizures at the end of September, we will be adding a third medication to the mix. Since she has all ready failed two medications, the chance of this medication working is really low, but we'll keep our fingers crossed. That about sums up our week. I hope that next week is much more slow-placed :)

Moving

2009-07-24T12:19:00.000-06:00

We are moving this weekend, so I'll be MIA for a bit :)

My cute kids

2009-07-14T10:17:00.001-06:00

UFO Festival

2009-07-08T13:40:00.000-06:00

Since we live in Roswell, we decided that we might as well go to the UFO Festival, since people drive from all over the country to attend. The first day of the festival Kenzie kept track and found license plates from 20 different states. It was an interesting experience, to say the least. Here are some pictures of the fun!

Caden meeting Spiderman (he was slightly terrified)

Cierra and Caden posing with the some aliens (again, Caden was slightly terrified)

At the parade

Caden and Cierra at the carnival

Our Month Long Trip to Utah

2009-07-02T09:25:00.000-06:00

We headed up to Utah as soon as the girls got out of school to go to more doctor appointments, go to Megan's graduation, and to see Ericka and Malcolm. It was so much fun being there and seeing everyone. We played a lot, ate a lot, and partied a lot. Caden and Tanner both celebrated their birthday's while we were there. We had our ultrasound (see previous post) and found out that we're having a baby boy! We did a repeat ultrasound and he was still laying transverse, so we will be doing another ultrasound when we get back to Utah at the end of this month. We have decided that it is best to deliver baby boy in Utah, so the kids and I are currently packing, so that we can be ready to go on the 26th of July. I would love the stay in Utah forever, but at this point, we are unsure of what we're going to do after the baby is born. Here are some pictures from our trip!

Caden and Tanner

Erick flew up to Utah while we were there to buy a new car

Caden's 3rd birthday party (yeah....he likes Batman)

Ericka and my girls

Playing at the park

Malcolm giving Caden an airplane ride

And Caden giving Malcolm an airplane ride

The Big Ultrasound

2009-05-26T15:46:00.000-06:00

We had our 20 week ultrasound today and found out that we are having another baby boy! Caden and Viv were right the whole time. Baby is about 11 inches and just under a pound. He was laying in a weird position, so we have to do another ultrasound in 2-4 weeks to get a better look at things. We are so excited to be adding another sweet little boy to our family.

Bye-Bye Binky!

2009-05-19T12:37:00.000-06:00

Caden has been more than attached to his binky pretty much since birth. He ALWAYS had to have one in his mouth and even liked to carry an extra one around with him just in case. When I took him to the dentist in November, the dentist pointed out that Caden's teeth were becoming misshapen because of his excessive binky use. I knew he was right, but I didn't feel like it was good time to take it away because we were moving soon and I really didn't want to deal with it. About a month ago, Caden's speech therapist told me she thought that Caden's articulation was being affected by the shape of his teeth and jaw from the near constant binky use. I was planning on taking it away when he was three, but when she told me that, I knew it was time. So, I told Caden all about the binky fairy and how she would leave him a prize if he would leave all of his binky's out for her to take. I got a couple of prizes and a few days later, we put the plan into action. We had a hard couple of days with lots of tears shed, but he did it. It has been almost two weeks now and he still asks for it once in a while, but for the most part, he has done great. I am so proud of him!!! He is growing up way too fast. Next challenge.....potty training!

Baby Belly

2009-05-16T19:55:00.000-06:00

Here I am at 18 weeks and 4 days....almost halfway done!

You know you have two big sisters...............

2009-05-15T07:12:00.001-06:00

Hot Air Balloon Festival.......not so much

2009-05-07T14:13:00.000-06:00

Now that I am starting to feel better, I have been trying to plan more outings and things to do around town because my poor kids have been stuck in the house with me for the last three months. There is not a whole lot to do here, so when I hear about something, I try to go. One of Caden's teacher's told me that there was going to be a Hot Air Balloon Festival last week, so we decided to go. We all got up at 6am last Saturday morning (yes, 6am on a Saturday) so that we could see the balloons set up and take off. We got there right at 7am and there were no balloons set up and all the cars were leaving. They had decided to cancel it because of weather. Roswell doesn't really have much weather, so of course the one day that it's windy and cloudy and looks like it might actually rain, is the day of this festival. We decided to wait a few minutes and see if anyone was going to set up or not. Lucky for us, one person decided to set up his balloon and take it for a spin over Roswell, out of the sixty that were supposed to. We were happy that we got to see at least one balloon. I have learned my lesson though, no matter how guilty I feel for being sick the last few months, there is nothing worth getting up for at 6am on a Saturday.

Waiting in the cold to see if anyone is brave enough to take off

Finally, someone starts setting up!

Quote of the Day

2009-05-06T16:49:00.000-06:00

Caden says to me today~

"I used to have a mustache, but I cut it off with scissors (demonstrated with finger scissors) because it was bugging me."

He was totally and completely serious, too. I guess he doesn't realize that I've known him since birth and I know that he's never had a mustache. He seriously cracks me up.

Biopsy results are back

2009-04-29T11:40:00.000-06:00

My thyroid biopsy came back 100% normal!!! Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts. I will need to have a thyroid ultrasound done every six months for the rest of my life to monitor the nodules, but I am very happy that I am cancer-free. My endocrinologist still wants me to have my thyroid removed, so that I can go off off the medication I am on, but I am opting not to do that. We still have no idea where we are going to deliver the baby, but we will have to figure it out sometime soon I guess. I'm just not very good at making big decisions.

On another note, I have a couple of friends that haved used a test called Intelligender during their pregnancies and had accurate results, so I thought that I would give it a try. It tests your urine to tell you if you're having a boy or a girl. It has an 80-90% accuracy rate. Well, I took one this morning and it says that we are having a BOY! I'm curious to see if it's right when we have our ultrasound in a few weeks. I have thought this baby was a girl the whole time, so I was really surprised by the results. We'll know for sure soon!
http://www.intelligender.com/

Our Whirlwind Trip

2009-04-22T18:43:00.000-06:00

Caden and I flew to Utah Sunday afternoon after driving 3 1/2 hours to the airport. It was Caden's first plane ride, so I had to take a few pictures. I guess my picture-taking made it obvious that it was his first time, so that pilot invited him up to the front to see all of the controls. Caden loved it, but then got nervous when the controls started talking and wanted to go back to his seat.

Watching all the planes out the window at the airport

Posing with his drink

On the plane

Monday morning, my Mom, Caden, and I went to see my midwife. Everything with the baby looks good so far. The heart beat was in the 160's again, making me really think we're having another little girl. We get to find out for sure in about a month. Caden found some swimming goggles while we were there and decided to try them on and show us his muscles.

Here he is, looking awfully cool

Monday afternoon, Bruce, my Mom, and I went to the ENT to get my thyroid biopsy done. Let me just tell you that it was an AWFUL experience. I have two nodules that they are concerned about and they did three biopsies on each, so six total. It was the most painful thing I have experienced besides childbirth. I should know the results at the beginning of next week. Everyone send benign biopsy vibes my way!

Tuesday morning, I went to the endocrinologist for a med check. It was an easy appointment and I didn't even have to get any blood work done. Tuesday afternoon, Bruce took Caden and I to Olive Garden and then to airport. We had an uneventful flight to Albuquerque and an extremely long drive back to Roswell. The girls stayed with Michelle (thanks again!) and Erick picked them up when he got off work, so they met me at home. I am so glad to be home with my family. I missed my girls so much! I don't think I'll be making another trip like that again soon because I am exhausted. We are driving up to Utah again in about a month for more appointments and tests. I'm glad that I get a few weeks to recover.

An update on us

2009-04-11T18:46:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged about anything for a while, so I figured that it was time to give a little update on the family.

Erick has been busy working in Portales, but that job is wrapping up soon and he will be moving to Hatch in the next week or two. Hatch is much further away from Roswell, so we will not be seeing him nearly as much as we have been. He will be at that job for 6-9 months.

I have still been dealing with morning sickness and fatigue, but I am starting to feel a little bit better. I will be 14 weeks tomorrow, so I keep hoping that it will go away soon. We went to Utah for Spring Break and I saw my midwife while I was there. Because of insurance issues, we have to see our doctors in Utah, except for emergencies for the time being. I had some blood work come back abnormal, so our trip was extended from 1 week to 2, while they tried to figure out what was going on. They concluded that I have hyperthyroidism (I know, go figure, the chubby girl who can never lose weight has hyperthyroidism not hypothyroidism?) which was contributing to the awful morning sickness that I have been having (plus other symptoms that I won't get into on my blog.) I had to see an endocrinologist and they started me on medication because hyperthyroidism can be dangerous for the baby. They did more blood work and an ultrasound of my thyroid to try and figure out what is causing the elevated levels of T3. The ultrasound also came back abnormal, so I will be heading back to Utah with Caden on the 19th to get a biopsy done and to see my midwife and endocrinologist again. If the biopsy comes back containing "unfriendly" cells, then I will be having my thyroid removed in the next month or so. The biggest problem is that all of this makes my pregnancy high risk and there are no high risk doctors where we live. The closest ones are in Albuquerque, which is 3 1/2 hours away. So, when our lease is up in June, the kids and I may be heading back to Utah to deliver the baby. Hopefully, I will have some more solid answers in the next couple of weeks.

The kids are doing pretty good. Kenzie was happy to be home so that she could sleep in a bed again after two weeks of sleeping on the floor. We had parent-teacher conferences just before our trip and she is getting straight A's. We are so proud of her. She has really had to do alot for Caden and Cierra since I got sick and she never complains. I don't know what I would do without her.

Cierra saw the neurologist while we were in Utah and we adjusted meds again. Her seizures had picked back up again, so we are still playing the guessing game with medication for now. She is having 8-10 a day again. Cierra is also getting straight A's, despite all of the class that she misses because of her seizures. I really hope that we can get her seizure-free some day, so that she can lead a more normal life.

Caden is doing great. He is talking so much and has made a lot of progress in the last few months. You would never know that he had an autism diagnosis just by looking at him now. We are certain that his diagnosis will be changed to Aspberger's at his next appointment with the psychologist. He loves his new school here and actually lets me leave the room for part of the time that he's there.

And I guess that's about it for now. We are still adjusting to life here. It is very different and I am homesick all the time. I'll update again soon.

Today is a fantastic day!

2009-03-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

There are about 500 things that I could complain about right now, but there is one really great thing that deserves to be blogged about. Today marks one whole week since Cierra has had a seizure! This is the longest amount of time that she has gone without having a seizure since she was diagnosed with epilepsy last August. The last 7 months have been extremely hard and emotional for all of us, especially Cierra. I feel like there is some hope now. I really hope and pray that we have finally found the right combination of medications and that Cierra will stay seizure-free.

Some pictures

2009-03-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

I have a whole bunch of things that I want to blog about, but I just feel too awful to sit down and type them all out. So, I'm just going to post some pictures instead.

Kenzie holding a frog

Cierra holding a frog

The frog

Kenzie being super excited about me taking a picture of her while she's cleaning the kitchen

Caden showing off his owie that he got from running after a wagon

Cierra and Caden having a picnic on the patio

Some antelope. We see them a lot around here. This was right across the street from our church

A roach next to a quarter so that you can see how big it is. I actually found a 2 inch roach one day, but didn't think to take a picture of it. New Mexico is super fun!

Caden snuggling up to a loaf of bread that Michelle made. He actually fell asleep with it. I then moved it back into it's bag and put it on the nightstand. He asked for it first thing in the morning and carried it around all day, eating it. When it was finally gone, he was upset and wanted me to "make it big again!"

Morning sickness is here!

2009-02-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

Morning sickness has hit with a vengeance . I am so tired and sick all day, I'm not really sure how I'm functioning. We think that the baby is upset about the idea of being born in Roswell, so it's letting me know by making me sick. It's a good thing that Erick has been home so much this week because the kids wouldn't have eaten dinner otherwise. So, I'm sorry that I haven't been commenting on blogs or emailing anyone back. I can barely get out of bed all day. Hopefully in 5 or 6 weeks I'll be feeling better and back online more.

Our new addition

2009-02-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

No, it's not our new baby (he/she won't be here for a while.) Erick's job has him on the road and out of town a lot and fortunately since he got here in November, he has had a free place to stay everynight when he couldn't be at home. But, the job site has moved and he was going to have to stay in a hotel most nights. So, we decided to purchase a trailer for him to stay in. It is much cheaper than paying for a hotel everynight and there is enough room for me and the kids to stay with him on the weekends when he can't come home. We are parking it at Justin and Michelle's house for a week or two until Erick is ready to use it and then we will be moving it to Portales. Without further ado, here are the pictures!

The outside

The master bedroom (if you can really call it that...lol)

The kitchen

The table

The table turned into a bed

The bathroom

The kids favorite part of the trailer.....the bunk beds!

And just a couple of random pics of the kids hanging out in the trailer today

Baby makes six

2009-02-04T11:04:00.000-07:00

That's right......we're expecting! We just found out and are still kind of in shock, but we are so excited and can't wait to be parents of another beautiful baby. We planned on not telling anyone for a while, but Erick spilled the beans and told the kids, so we decided to just tell everyone now and hope for the best. The girls are both excited and Caden doesn't really grasp the concept. Everytime we tell him that there is a baby in my tummy, he yells at me and says "No baby in your tummy!!!" He takes everything very literally and what he can't see, doesn't exist. So, he'll be in for a surprise in October when we bring a baby home. Hopefully he'll adjust okay.

Bucket List

2009-02-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

I saw this on Shannon's blog and thought it looked fun.
Place an X by all the things you've done. This is for your entire life!

(x) Gone on a blind date

(x) skipped school

(x) Watched someone die

( ) Been to Canada

(x)Been to Mexico

(x) Been to Florida

(x) Been on a plane

(x) Been lost

( ) Been on the opposite side of the country

( ) Gone to Washington , DC

(x) Swam in the ocean

(x) Cried yourself to sleep

(x) Played cops and robbers

(x) Recently colored with crayons

(x) Sang Karaoke

(x) Paid for a meal with coins only

(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't

(x) Made prank phone calls

(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.

(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(x) Danced in the rain

(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus

(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(x) Watched the sunrise with someone

(x) Blown bubbles

(x) Gone ice-skating

( ) Been skinny dipping outdoors

( ) traveled on a train

( ) Gone scuba diving

(x) gone on a cruise

( ) gone skydiving

( ) speak a foreign language

Back Blogged: Dance camp and hamper bed

2009-02-03T08:46:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, Michelle was kind enough to come and pick up Cierra, so that she could sleepover at their house and go to dance camp the next morning with Shakayla. Cierra had so much fun at the sleepover and at dance camp. I only got a short video because my camera battery died, but here it is. Cierra and Shakayla are in the back row. Thanks again Michelle!

And here is Caden's newest invention. He likes to take all the mesh bags off our hamper and then put a blanket over it, so that he can hide out in it. When he was playing in it a couple of weeks ago, he fell asleep and took his entire nap in there.

Pictures of our new town and our fantastic *note sarcasm* new place are coming soon!

The Move

2009-01-18T11:05:00.000-07:00

The day after Christmas, we continued to pack and clean and get laundry done. Friday evening, Dave and Heather threw us a going away "New Mexican Fiesta." It was so much fun. We invited our family and a few close friends. Heather made some great food and brought some awesome mustaches for us to sport. It was complete with a pinata and everything! Unfortunately, I didn't take any pics, but Heather did, so when I get them from her, I'll post them here. Thanks again Dave and Heather!!!

Cierra and Drew

Heather, Drew, Isaac, and Caden

Saturday morning, Erick and Bruce got up bright and early to go and pick up the U-haul. Quite a few people from our church came and helped us load the moving van. By noon we had the van loaded and were just finishing up the last few boxes and the last couple loads of laundry. Saturday evening, we went over to my Mom's house for dinner and to say goodbye. It was not an easy goodbye and I am tearing up just writing about it. I am very close to my family and have never been very far from them before. We got home and tried to feed Caden before we put him to bed because he hadn't eaten at my Mom's and he promptly threw up. We got him all cleaned up and put him to bed. Erick and I slept in a spare bed and the kids all slept on the floor. Caden threw up again during the night and had diarrhea, but by morning, he seemed okay to travel.

Sunday morning we got up early and got ready to leave. We had a tearful goodbye with Vivienne before she had to leave for choir, she tried to rush it along and be tough so that no one would cry, but it didn't work. We headed out around 7:30 with Erick, the kids, and I in our van and Bruce driving the U-Haul. We stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. Because McDonald's was our first stop, Caden was convinced that it was our new house. Everyone kept breakfast down okay, so we thought we were done with the vomiting, since all three of the kids had thrown up at some point during the last few days. We stopped in Price for gas and then again in Moab for lunch. From Moab to Cortez, it was slow going. The weather was not the best and the roads were icy. But we got through it okay. We finally made it into Albuquerque late in the evening and set out to pick up Erick's car. He had parked it at Bruce's cousin's house when he flew home. Erick thought he knew exactly how to get there, but he didn't, so it took us over an hour to find the house and get his car and head to the hotel for the night. By then, we were all exhausted and ready to get out of the car and go to sleep. But, we couldn't find the hotel either and it took us another hour to locate it and get settled in our rooms. We ordered dinner at the hotel because we were all too exhausted to go anywhere. We had driven for 14.5 hours. We all passed out sometime around 11pm. I was in no rush to leave early in the morning because of how long we had been driving, so I set the alarm for 8am and planned on leaving around 9:30am.

Monday morning, I was woken up by Kenzie because she was throwing up, again. I could not believe that we were still dealing with this virus. I got up and helped her into the shower and then she went back to sleep. Then I hopped in the shower while Erick, Bruce, Cierra, and Caden headed down to the lobby to eat breakfast. I hadn't been in the shower for more than 5 minutes when Erick came back up to the room carrying Caden, who had thrown-up all over when they sat down to eat. I hurried and finished and then we put Caden in the tub to get him cleaned up. Bruce and Erick went to go by some Pepto because the kids were having bathroom issues as well. After a couple of doses of Pepto, several more clothing changes and some naps, we decided that it was time to brave the car, so that we could make it to Roswell before dark. I think we ended up leaving around noon. I was on my own with the kids in the van because Erick had his car and Bruce had the U-haul. It took us close to 4 hours to get to Roswell, but thankfully, the ride there was uneventful. No one threw-up or had to make an emergency bathroom stop. We had people waiting to help us move in, but the kids were still feeling awful. So, the kids and I checked into a hotel in Roswell and Bruce and Erick went to go unload the moving van. Michelle had planned a big dinner for everyone that night (Jared and Karen and their boys had come up from Carlsbad to help us, too), but because of the virus, she brought us some of the dinner at the hotel and everyone else went to her house to eat after the U-Haul was unloaded and the beds were put together. Bruce and Justin returned the U-Haul, but there was a miscommunication and the keys were locked in the U-Haul, instead of being dropped in the night box. Justin called them in the morning and took care of it, so there was no harm done thankfully.

After we ate, I went to the grocery store while Erick stayed with the kids at the hotel and then we headed over to our new place. Cierra was the only one who was excited at this point. We were all just exhausted and sad to be away from home. Bruce and Justin came over to pick something up and we all said to goodbye to Bruce (aka Bubba) because he was flying back to Utah the next day. We all crashed and slept really good. No one threw-up or was sick again. Erick had to go to work the next day, so I was on my own with the kids and the unpacking. Luckily, he had the next few days off after that and we got most of the unpacking done. So, that is our moving story. It was crazy and hectic and I never want to do it again. I'll be writing more about our new town, new school and posting pictures of our new place soon. Thank you so much to everyone who helped us pack, clean, load, drive, unload, unpack, made us dinners, etc. We appreciate it so much and couldn't have done it without all of you.

Christmas 2008

2009-01-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

Christmas felt a little rushed this year because of the move, but we still had a great time. Erick flew home on the 23rd and of course that same day, Kenzie got really sick. So, Caden, Cierra and I picked him up at the airport. It was such a cute reunion. Caden spotted Erick and took off running to him and they hugged and hugged. Caden kept staring at Erick's face, just to make sure it was really him. That night we had the Sullivan family Christmas party, complete with a great dinner and a reenactment of the Nativity.
Our two little sheep, Caden and Isaac

Mary, baby Jesus, Joseph and the sheep

Kenzie holding Dallin

Christmas Eve we went to the mall because Cierra had not seen Santa yet. Kenzie was feeling better, so she came with us. Erick waited in line with her while I finished up some last minute shopping. After waiting in line for an hour and half and still not seeing Santa, we had to leave to meet my family for lunch. After lunch, Erick took Cierra back to the mall to wait in line again. It took them three hours, but she finally got to sit on his lap and tell him what she wanted for Christmas. After they got back, we went to my Mom's house for Christmas Eve dinner. After dinner, we opened Christmas pajama's and watched the movie "A Nativity Story." Then it was time to go home and put out the cookies and eggnog for Santa. Soon after we got home, Cierra started feeling sick. We finally got her to take her medicine and put her to bed and then she started throwing up. It was a rough night to say the least.
Caden and Tanner at the restaurant

Christmas morning was great, except for poor Cierra. She still felt awful, so she sat on the couch with Viv and tried to be enthusiastic about opening her presents. Kenzie scored a cell phone from Santa and was by far the happiest one that morning. Caden was very cute about all of it. It was his first year to start to understand Christmas and he had a lot of fun seeing what Santa brought him and opening all of his presents. After presents, we all got ready and went over to my Grandma's house for Christmas breakfast. We left Cierra home with Bruce and Viv to watch her new DVD "Hairspray." We came home from breakfast and crashed. We were supposed to go to a dinner that night, too, but we were too exhausted and still had so much to do to get ready for the move. So that was our Christmas 2008. I'll be posting about our move as soon as I have a chance.
Waiting to see what Santa brought

Kenzie sees her new phone!

Caden checking out his stocking

Cierra and Nana

So Busy!

2008-12-21T22:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been updating. We are super busy getting ready for our move next Sunday. I probably won't update again until after we get settled. Erick will be home on Tuesday to celebrate Christmas with us and help us drive down. We are all really looking forward to seeing him. It has been a long six weeks! I am grateful for all the help that I've had from my family while he's been gone (thanks Mom, Viv, Bruce, Megan and anyone else who has helped me out.) The girls had their last day of school on Friday and that was an emotional day for all of us and then today was our last Sunday with our ward. We are really going to miss our church family. I have loved being in the nursery and I am going to miss all of the little kids that I have worked with for the last 20 months. This move is going to bring some huge changes for our family, but I hope that they are mostly positive, good changes. I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas!!!